What did the shipmates find in the toilet?
The Captain’s Log.
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Nope 
It doesnt matter if you’re tall or short, thin or fat, rich or poor, at the end of the day…
It’s night.
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To the gallows with you for that one.
How do you roast a turkey?
You make fun of it’s chicken wings
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My son loves that we named our children after Star Wars characters.
Luke’s sister Chewbacca not so much.
May the 4th be with her!
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What do you call a dip that tastes funny?
Hummurus
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Doctor: I’m sorry, but we had to remove your colon.
Me Why?
Parenting is a conspiracy to keep alcohol companies in business
I was reading that the reason ABBA never performed at festivals is that Agnetha once got stuck in the toilet.
A portaloo.
Couldn’t escape if she wanted to.
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