How would I describe myself?
Well, I’ve got arms of Jimmy Carr, the Legs of Daniel Radcliffe and a lifetime ban from Madame Tussauds.
Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?
nice! let me circle back to you with a reply!
All around that was a good one
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Wow, I’ve never served a weasel before. What canl get for you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
A friend of mine named his dog ‘5 miles’ so he could tell people he walked 5 miles.
But today he ran over 5 miles.
After you die, the last part of your body to stop working are your pupils because…
…they dilate!
Thought it would be the liver to be last …
Petrol is so expensive at the moment i ended up putting vodka in the lawnmower.
Now the grass is half cut.
Give it another shot
Bison vodka?
Met Albert Einstein’s little brother Frank the other day he was an absolute monster