Pan's thread of puns

I think its meant to be read as “both-of-these” nuts

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In medieval times, people used to attach a lamp to a horse when riding at night. This is the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.

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I’m no magician but once turned a back rub into two kids and a mortgage

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My wife left a note on the fridge: this is not working, l’m going to my mum’s house.
Opened the fridge door, the light was on, the juice was cold. What the hell did she mean?

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Just so everybody’s clear.
I’m going to put my glasses on.

Why are you always making a spectacle of yourself!

hahaha I see what you did there!

So sick of my stepladder acting like it’s my real ladder

They may be a bit boring, but drills are the best tools in the hole whirled.

I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.

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What do you call your mom’s angry French sister?
A Croissaunt.

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I’ve never mentioned it before but I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.