2 Likes
"Excuse me… hello - are you… Béyonce?
“Beyoncé actually, yes”
“Sorry, I couldn’t quite place your accent”
WOOOSH 
A man who was rushed to hospital with severe abdominal pain was found to have 15 plastic toy horses inserted into his rectum. Doctors have described his condition as stable.
2 Likes
Man to Psychiatrist: “I am depressed. All three of my sons want to be valets when they grow up.”
Psychiatrist: "Hmmm, that is the strangest case of parking sons disease I have ever heard of.”
3 Likes
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me
On a related note, I suck at darts
1 Like
I finally managed to download the theme music from “Titanic” to my phone, even though some said it was unsyncable…
1 Like
My granddad was trying to quit smoking, so to help him along I secretly soaked one of his cigarettes in petrol.
I think he appreciated my effort, judging by the way his face lit up.
1 Like
