Therapist: What brings you in today?
Me: have a terrible fear of tsunamis.
Therapist: How bad is it?
Me: It comes in waves.
Dentist: how can I help you today?
Patient: I think I’m a moth.
Dentist: OK, i can see you need help but but I’m a dentist, you need a psychiatrist.
Patient: I know
Dentist: So why are you here?
Patient: your light was on…
2 Likes
-Doctor! I keep having the same dream every night. Over and over again!
-Well, what is it?
-Mice playing football.
-I’ll prescribe you some medicine. Take it tonight before
you go to bed and you’ll sleep like a baby
-Listen, Doc. Do you mind if I take it tomorrow?
-Why tomorrow?
-The final is tonight
1 Like
Any witnesses should leave a message in a bottle
My rifle stopped working this morning!
I managed to fix it by referring to the troubleshooting section of the manual
1 Like
I found out earlier today that someone’s glued my pack of cards together.
Try as I might, I just can’t deal with it.
What do you call a magician that lost his magic?
Ian
ground beef suggests the existence of flying beef
Did you know that there is only two white people in Marvel’s Black Panther. Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis. They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
You’re such a komodion!
That’s a real sillymanthere
Took my chameleon to the vet cause he stopped changing colors.
Doctor says he has a reptile disfunction.
3 Likes