That’s almost as bad as the old Christmas cracker joke.
Why did the snail paint a giant S on the side of it’s shell?
So people could say, “look at that escargot”
The urge to sing"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always just a whim away…
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
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Did you know Mortal Kombat was actually based on an ancient Scandinavian church song?
It’s a Finnish hymn.
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Mario, Luigi, Peach met up for the first time in 5 years
It was a Wii Union!
I woke up this morning to find that overnight I’d changed into a cat. Don’t ask meow.
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That pun is so bad it’s going to be dogging you for years.
(I think we might have had this one before)
I was offered a job as the head of Old McDonald’s farm this week! … I would be the CIEIO
Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price and heavier than Alan Price.
I know this because I looked it up on a price-comparison website.
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At school we had a teacher called Mrs Turtle.
Strange name but she tortoise well.
did she wear lots of polo shirts??
I’ve just got a new job with a company that makes Dracula models.
It pays well, but it’s a high pressure environment. There’s only two of us employed on the production line, so I have to make every second count.
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What’s Dracula’s favourite fruit?
A necktarine
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What was Dracula’s favourite band?
Tepes mode
My tailor is always really happy to see me!
Or sew it seams.
So I named my phone Titanic.
Every time I use Bluetooth it says that Titanic is syncing.
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I just got a new job at the guillotine factory.
I’ll beheading there soon.
I saw a couple weaving across the road, I shouted at them “get a fecking loom”.
I’ve got a court case looming, and have two solicitors working for me. Ones Pro Bono, the other thinks he’s a pretentious prick.
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