I got stopped today going down the A4 by two police officers. A coloured guy and a young chap.
The young chap pulled me over into the clutches of the coloured guy. He said:
“You were going a bit quick there, did you notice the pedestrians on the side of the road?”
I said “yes officer I saw them, but I was only doing 32mph”
I was thinking, its fecking heaving with pedestrians, do you think I would hve been riding a bike if I was blind? And I wasnt speeding, the road was well wide with nothing on it and i was only a bitty bit over the 30.
Bobby 1 said “Thats very fast. However it doesnt matter we are doing counter terrorism checks”. I thought ‘its not as fast as the Porche that just went past you, but cool, at least they are on the Bin Laden thingy’. I felt assured with the old bill.
“Can I see your licence?” said copper 1. “Sure thing” said I. I went into my top box and plucked my wallet out, then retracted my Drivers Licence. Cop 1 took it and studied it.
“It this a polish licence?” said cop 1. I thought ‘Do I look polish? and can you see that big UK stamp in the top left of it?’
“No its a UK licence” said I.
“Are you sure?” I proceeded to point to the UK stamp.
“Oh, never seen one of those before” said cop 1. I was confused. “its a new licence” I said “its just been endorsed and replaced”.
“Oh I see. Is this your bike?”
“yes”
“What make is it?”
“Its a Yamaha”
“Good. 17th of what month?” Said cop 1. I looked confused.
“I’m sorry?”
“Your birthday, the 17th of what month?”
“Actually its a 20th July. 1974” I said, thinking, what is this guy on?
“Oh yes so it is I thought it said the 17th ho ho ho” By now I was imagining a leagion of taliban crossing the road next to me and the officer not blinking an eye.
Cop 2 ran the usual checks by radio and the lady on the other end said registered owner is [me] and read out my address.
Cop 1 pointed to the same address on my drivers licence and asked “Is this your address?”
“Yes it is”, frowning.
“Your current address?”
“Yes” Through partially gritted teeth
They then started chatting between themselves about another group of officers chasing a shoplifter while I tapped my fingers thinking of the meeting they were maing me late for.
The lady on the radio then reported an RTA between a motorbike and a van nearby (hope it wasnt one of you lot, and best wishes for the rider in general)
Then they sent me on my way. I left then with a cursuory “have a good afternoon!” to which cop 2 said “I’ll try!” with a wry smile. Top lad.
I near on wept when back on the bike that a muppet like this can be protecting our contry from taliban (and thought of the biker int he RTA) this guy realy had a stupid demeanor - know what I mean?. Dont want to tar the met with the same brush, but if this guy passed police training and was assinged a new officer to train ( a chap who obviously had his wits about him), I really do despair…
R
It’s plain to see you were not being derogatory.
) and the one thing I couldn’t criticise the police for was their professionalism or politeness. Even when I almost stuffed a minibus head on into a police Fiesta at some speed, the old copper who stopped me didn’t give me a ticket but explained what I had done wrong (I was 19 so didn’t really have a clue) and how I could drive more safely, but he wasn’t patronising or rude and that was the first time I’d ever considered how I drove and how I could treat driving as a skill, not something we all do automatically like eating. Quite an important moment in my driving career and infinately more useful (to me and everybody else !) than 3 points and a £60 fine which would have achieved nothing or probably made me even worse.
