Chuck Norris - FACT

Maybe I’m still a child - but these made me laugh hard :hehe::hehe::hehe::hehe::hehe:

A few facts about the ‘man’ Chuck.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther’s womb.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


BWAHAHAH great stuff :slight_smile:

I miss WoW…

lol :smiley: Chuck roolz

Chuck norris dosen’t sleep, he waits.


PMSL :hehe:

some more

Guns don’t kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris’ Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

At last - a thread on my level that wasn’t started by me :smiley:

The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn’t read - he stares at the book until it gives up the information
If you dreamt that you looked at Chuck Norris funny, you better wake up and apologise:D

Chuck Norris doesn’t get the common cold; the common cold gets Chuck Norris.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

Ma fav : Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

some more:

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the **** he wants.

Some kids **** their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can **** his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris’ sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat death. He wins fair and square.

Chuck Norris can speak braille.

Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.

Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.

On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down “Violence” as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Chuck Norris?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista on his Etch-a-Sketch.

Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it’s ******* beef.

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Why do I always chuckle at the word " gusset ! "

Love this thread – Chuck Norris rules!!:smiley:

Go to

search for “Find Chuck Norris” with quotes and press I’m Feeling Lucky :smiley:

LMAO, just tried it.

Chuck Norris-opoulos

quality thread i wonder if chuck can suck a fruit pastal without chewing