“This has been parked by Stevie Wonder!”
ROFLMFAO:D
I got my business cards from Moo.
Everyone loves them!
I actually pride myself on being the best parallel parker in the entire world - and of course the best lady parker ever:D LOL;)
How about just calling in Parking Enforcement, or constructing your own clamping system? Or just a simple sticker saying:
‘For Your Perfect Parking Solutions call The Doctor on (insert phone number) for a Free Parking Training Session.’
‘Perfect Parking Solutions - The Doctor’
It’s the way to go
Actually Doctor I realise that I have spoken to you at length at 2 BM meets, but I was confusing you with Garrett, as you both have the same bike I think?
“For it to be parked like this, it must have been a Getaway Car”
“my other car is a micra!”
or
“don’t drink and drive - it only leads to bad parking”
GREAT IDEA MATE
‘You park like George Michael - he likes ramming big things into small spaces!’
Might need a long sticker though :w00t:
“Nicely abandoned near a parking space”
crash helmet -£250
leathers - £400
My Bike - £7500
YOUR PARKING - PRICELESS
or
This isnt just Parking
this is M S parking
(MS = My Shite)
How about “Next time you decide to get this close to me, kindly use Vaseline”.Will you be providing a free stab-proof vest in case the owner returns mid-stick? Will there be any safeguards to take into account the very common practice of reorganising bikes to make space for one’s own bike? I can just imagine getting back to my bike after a hard day’s work to find I’d been hit by the double whammy of my bike being moved by some idiot trying to create space for their bike on the one side, and then the idiot on the other side thinking I had left it like that then placing a sticker on my pride and joy that then takes me 2 hours to remove… what joy that would be 
“Bad parking karma will bite you in your inconsiderate arse. But I won’t do its work.
This sticker removes easily. Seriously though, park better next time .”
FARKING PAIL
How about some mock ‘official’ stickers whereby the owner will think they’ve got away with it today, but only by the skin of their teeth? Something like:
INCONSIDERATE PARKING
THIS VEHICLE IS AWAITING CLAMPING TEAM
PLEASE DO NOT MOVE
AUTHORITY OF METROPOLITAN COUNCILS
If I saw that on my car and it looked official and I had no clamp I’d whip it off and drive away BUT wouldn’t forget it in a hurry.
‘My parking space, the final frontier’.
I want some.
Very good i like it!!!
How about… "Please don’t park like a c**t."It’s polite but to the point.
This post bought to you by the campaign for plain speaking.