I love the new place I have moved into (the people as the area is a ****hole)
However I was pretty sneaky about the whole thing as when I was asked where I worked, I just said I temped. However I will have to admit sooner or later that I work for the Met
The reason why I witheld the information in the first place was because I have friends (especially a few who work in top end jobs in the city) who occasionally take cocaine. Because they know I work with the police I occasionally do not get invited to certain parties which really gets my goat as they think it makes me feel uncomfortable etc
I really do not care what people do or what they consume as long as they don’t go all psycho or overdose in front of me.
How do I convey this message across?
Be Honest. It’s the best way. These are your flatmates and they need to know where you stand.
Chocs What do you do for the Met - is it Civil staff or PCSO? Have you joined up?? after listening to Trojan’s stories???
Tell them what you just told us.
Why on earth do you think it would be PCSO??
I have joined to be an officer but at the mo everything is on hold as on a contract with MOD Police and seeing where the wind takes me
I just got the feeling they would think I was lying. Will try my best to put the point across that I really do not care
Trojan? Nah I was completing my entry before joined LB
As I say mate just be honest…This sounds like a scenario from your training…
What’s wrong with PCSO’s…I thought they were have th the new must have this season
I can’t see them trusting you for a long while after they find out what it is you do you have already lied about your job once, police are generally not liked its part of the job.
The bike safe cops where down at the Ace today nobody wanted to talk to them there were a few fake smiles and nodds going round but on the whole no one wanted them there, you may find this same thing happen to you you’ll just have to learn to live with it I guess
Its probably not even a cop thing TBH, although I expect that does not help. If you don’t like tooting a line then you are just not part of the gang…
Put another way, would you go to the pub with your mates and stay sobber while they all get sh1tfaced?
One of the joys of carrying a warrant card.
Most people will be wary of being around anyone that has anything to do with the Police - too many bad stories touted by the press and one clown can spoil the decent work that many have done in a bad interaction with someone.
As for me, I’ve always been very open about what I do with anyone I’ve met, I’ve just let them take their time in getting to know the real me, some have taken a bit longer than others but most do come round and realise that even though you’re a copper, you are human and can have a laugh and a joke too. If they don’t want to speak to me after that, then no problems.
Of course, it can be a problem being around peeps who tend to do things that are a bit naughty all the time and you can drop yourself in the poo with work if it becomes known that you’re associating with people who do naughty things on a frequent basis ! Wanting to attend parties where the use of cocaine is the ‘in thing’ might not be a great career move but if you’re happy to risk your career for the odd party then fill your boots.
If they’re your mates they won’t do it in front of you and if they do they are putting you in an awkward position - what you don’t know or see can’t harm you. If they won’t invite you to certain parties then (my opinion only) maybe they are doing you a favour ?
It’s a toughie but at the end of the day the discipline / conduct code as well as the law is black and white - if you mess up or are seen to be crossing it by placing yourself in an awkward situation then you’ll have the DPS after you and you wouldn’t want that … !
To end this though, I’ve never met an angel and common sense should be the best thing to use - though the DPS wouldn’t see it that way.
Whatever you do, good luck.
I must admit though, I am a bit puzzled as you say in your first post that “However I will have to admit sooner or later that I work for the Met”
but in your second post you say “I have joined to be an officer but at the mo everything is on hold as on a contract with MOD Police and seeing where the wind takes me”
You’re actually not an employee or a member of the Met till you walk through the gates at Hendon (or where ever they are training recruits now). You don’t actually ‘join’ untill you start work with them.
Have you been given a start date and been fully accepted as well as passing the test, interview, background checks, fitness, etc etc etc ? How have you managed to put things on hold ?
A puzzled Trojan.
Yeah I was given a start date but deferred it as have a lot to think about and a lot on my plate
However I am still working for the Ministry of Defence police and doing some work with the old team I used to work for
tricky one, even civilian workers/PCSO’s etc have to have the people they live with, friends, partners and immediate family security checked, i’d be a little wary of that as eventually they’ll have to submit to the CRB checks.
The problem is the Police are never off duty, so I personally find it hard to relax in front of them, even though I don’t do drugs or anything like that, I feel guilty even though I haven’t done anything
Having said that one of my best friends is a cop, and can tell her anything, think it maybe that you seem to meet a lot of asshole cops when they are on duty, some seem to think that they are the bees knees, so end up tarring them all with same brush. I know quite few BTP cops and they are all ok geezers
But you def have to be honest with your flatmates - shud have done that from day one, as hard to get trust back.
if u tell them now, theyll think youve been working under cover or sumthing to catch them out!
id tell them ur temping for mod police,that way you havent lied to them, u are temping in a way
thing u just gota do is be urself, and let them see that your not necessarily gona shop them for looking at u the wrong way
at end of day, if they go funny with u, then they aint worth having as mates
Trojan, I haven’t met you yet pal, but from the things that you post on here, you are not someone that I would feel weary or uncomfortable around, even if you are a coppa!
Choc, IMO your friends aren’t your friends if they are willing to put your career in jeopardy just for their quick fix, the fact that they dont invite you to their “party’s” almost says to me that they are respecting you, but I dont know what you are like or the situation.
Regarding your flat mates, you arent actually part of the Met yet, so you havent really lied… problems may arise if you are seemingly implicated with illegal substances. Tell them you have an application in waitin at the met or something, see how they react etc…
you have to pick what side of the line you want to be on choc…
most cops dont give a monkeys about a lil recreational drug use, not in london anyway…
When i was 18 some cops got me with a small bag of weed, he stuck it in his pocket
and sent me on my way.
But like baz says if you wana be MET then your going to have to be honest, and distance your self from anyone that breaks the law, however stupid that law may be.
coz lets face it if all drugs where legal, the cops wouldnt have much to do…
and do you think life as we know it would come to an end if we could all get drugs legaly?.. umm no
80% of all theft is drug related…
but hey its a multi million pound business… and i dont mean for the drug dealers…
good luck ay!!!
Tricky one indeed. I find that honesty is the best policy but you could use the need to know basis. You don’t need to tell your flatmates everything and, as has been posted previously, if they have a ‘problem’ with your job, then they’re not worth having as mates in the first place. They should respect your chosen career.
Id tell them you are something connected with the SAS
you have covered most other angles in this post so why not go the whole hog- expanding on the “old team” analogy?