Good: Your hubby & you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Worse: You’re in them
Good: Your wife bought you a porn movie
Bad: It’s over five years old
Worse: Your daughter’s the star
Good: Your son’s interested in school
Bad: He has to do extra credit to pass
Worse: Making a sex ed video
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He’s a cross-dresser
Worse: He looks better than you
Good: Your son is finally maturing
Bad: He’s involved with the woman next door
Worse: So are you
Good: You give the “Birds & Bees” talk to your kids
Bad: They keep interrupting
Worse: With corrections !
Good: Your wife’s not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Worse: She’s a lawyer (a GOOD one)
Good: Your wife sez you can go hunting all you want
Bad: Because she’s leaving you
Worse: For another woman
Good: Your wife is helping bring in income
Bad: She’s arrested for soliciting
Worse: She implicates you
Good: The postman’s early
Bad: He’s wearing camies and has an AK-47
Worse: You gave him nothing for Christmas last year
Good: Hot outdoor sex
Bad: You’re arrested
Worse: By your spouse
Good: The teacher likes your son
Bad: Sexually
Worse: They’re both gay
Good: You came home for a quickie
Bad: The postman had the same idea
Worse: There’s a line, waiting
Good: You get a three-day weekend
Bad: You get the flu on Friday
Worse: It’s Tuesday morning already
Good: You finally get a nite out
Bad: You’re seen going into a strip show by a gossip
Worse: Your daughter’s the headliner
Good: Your husband’s exercising and dieting
Bad: So he’ll fit in your clothes
Worse: He knows how to coordinate better
Good: Your child’s waiting for “Mr Right”
Bad: Your son, that is
Worse: He’s received answers to his personals ad
Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude
Bad: They weigh 375 pounds
Worse: They catch you looking, and smile
Good: Your wife loves outdoor sex
Bad: You live downtown
Worse: Neither of you drive
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude
Bad: She’s coming home
Worse: From her weekly Woman’s Club meeting
Good: Your wife’s kinky
Bad: With the neighbors
Worse: ALL of them