I have a dog & I was buying a large bag of Pal at Asda and queuing at the check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Pal Diet again because last time I’d lost 50 pounds before waking in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV’s in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I’d ended up in the hospital because I’d been poisoned.
No, I told her.
It was because I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.
