That wasn’t a fine that was just to buy the coppers breakfast by way of a bribe to avoid a fine
Smallest fine was the 50p I dashed a Nigerian traffic cop for an illegal u-turn…
Plod: That is an illegal u-turn
BL: Is it? You best arrest me then.
Plod: Ok, we will go the police station.
BL: No worries, have committed a crime, now I must pay my debt to society. You lead and I will follow.
Plod: But I have no car.
BL: No worries, jump in and I’ll drive you
Plod: (Looking bewildered) Wouldn’t you rather just bribe me?
BL: How much?
Plod: 5000 Naira (£25 quid)
BL: That’s too much, are you mad? You think I am a rich man? Or an American?
5 minutes later.
Plod: Ok, ok 100 Naira, but if I catch you again it will be 5000
BL: No wahala.
2 Likes
Myself and a mate got two £5 fines entering a village in South Africa over the limit. The copper was already dealing with a truck driver and we weren’t sure what was going on. When we went to move off he got a bit upset. We paid the truck driver’s fine too to speed up the process.
We were bursting our sides laughing because we were both riding … Harleys.
I got £400 and 4 points for doing 99 on an empty motorway.(still naughty yes). My wife hadn’t added me as a named driver on the insurance. Despite proving at the roadside that this was a clerical error, that we had paid for me for five years and insured me there and then for free, the wanker showed no mercy and reported me nonetheless. I got 5 points and another £400 fine.
My bike insurance went up by a third the week later, so I was £1100 down with 11 points that are still haunting me now.
Fuck the police.
I got fined in Malawi for driving with my arm out the window. That copper got a piece of my mind and the fine reduced from £20 to £5 after some arguing.
Got in the office and complained to my colleagues only to be told it is genuinely a driving offence and the £20 was legit 
6 Likes
Another time in South Africa I was heading out for drinks with some colleagues after work. Four of us in the car, someone had opened a bottle of vino and was passing it around - I know, classy. We stopped at a red light and the driver was taking a drink when Rian shouted ‘Nicola, quick, put it down they’re cops beside us’.
Nicola put the bottle down quickly and all four of us looked at the marked car which had pulled up alongside us. Both officers looked at us, looked at each other, then both of them raised their cans of beer they were holding below window level. With big grins they shouted cheers to us and drove off as the lights were just changing.
5 Likes
Don’t want to worry you but about 2 years ago a friend of mine was pulled over in his car by a bike cop and given a ticket for having his arm out of the window. In Guildford.
Is the offence sticking your arm out? So can you rest your arm on the window?
I think it could fall under the broad offence of ‘driving without care and attention’, i.e. not having hands on wheel when you could have.
Would be interesting to know. Sounds like a paedant cop
1 Like
Yes, ‘not having proper control of the vehicle’. And yes a pedant cop.
I find it extraordinary that you hear of cases like this, which sound completely frivolous or vindictive to me, yet more serious breaches of phone use go free because of the Barreto Defence - you have to be caught in the act of using the phone as a communication device.
That loophole has now been dealt with.
1 Like