and she’s having a full on nightmare, shouting and whining and thrashing about in the bed. Suddenly she perches up on one elbow, turns towards me and whacks me one over my chest, really hard too. Thankfully the world’s hottest, thickest, toastiest duvet is there to protect me. Reminds me of that song…Last Night a Duvet Saved My Life 
cider still doing the trick then Nick
Hels would be mortified to read this post.
Lucky for you we have her kidnapped and gaffer taped naked on our bed.
No, youre safe she didnt read it, how could she with a blindfold?
However, we will release her and force her to read your posts at a future date when we have finnished using her :w00t:
Am sure Hels appreciates top quality jokes 
lol, ha ha, poor cow:P
Don’t call our Hels a cow, nasty boy:w00t:
I slept with a girl who had a bad stutter the other night…
…Luckily i finished before she said no! 
I had a similar incident with one of my ex-es…
I had a bit of an issue during the night and woke up unable to breathe as I struggle for air for about 20 secs, I managed to calm down and re-gained my breath (underrated thing breathing). Then I turned around and saw my girlfriend at the time crying. so I ask her “what are you crying about?”. To which she replied that as long as I was not breathing in my sleep I had put my arms around her neck and started squeezing… :w00t:
my ex told me that he used to be violent to his partner asleep and used to vandalise the room. with me though i’ve only experienced him shoving me few times.
it’s bit of a tricky situation when one is dealing with a violent sleepwalker if you ever confront one you will only aggrevate them, thankfully i never had to deal with that.
however i did bite one of my other ex’es on the nose when i was asleep 
even though i was asleep and didn’t mean to bite him i don’t regret it one bit 
Ha ha ha :D:D Interesting thread eh:DI only just now read this thread - it took me a while to escape from the Jetsreams clutches after they kidnapped me on route back to the Ace last night straight off the M40 and forced me to take the LSD they had cunningly hidden in their backpacks. The next thing I knew I was in a surreal world akin to the YouTube video posted up by Mr Smiled several days ago…
Thankfully now i am in my dressing gown and PJs on my own settee watching BBC1 - it’s a film about Quantum Reality which seems a lot of nonsense to me, but that is because I do not have a PHD in Astrophysics and in the properties of Quarks - might switch over to something less intellectually challenging…
So Blue Lagos - i will await more details of this wild encounter of yours with great interest:D:P
Westie - i will deal with you later… watch out:D