Smileds tour of a cockpit

just found some old vids of work on my pc…thought you may like em…or not…

https://www.youtube.com/v/CVmEMwLuvzY?fs=1&hl=en_GB&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999

smiled

I was going to say, shouldnt this belong in the adult section? Then i realised it was about planes :wink: :stuck_out_tongue: :smiley: :cool:

ohhhhh my reputation…:D.

Amazing to think they are just left sitting like that , all powered up and ready to go.

Do they not have any security ?

Not if they allowed Smiled in there :hehe: :stuck_out_tongue:

I would imagine they are parked within a highly secure area, so when Shane turned up for work he would have had to show photo ID of some sort.

You can get the ID free with packets of Sugar Puffs - collect four tokens, and you’re in :w00t:

the’re still powerd up when i get into them mate as the crew need to get off the airport sharp…so thats why im there to power down and lock up;)…

heres another i just uploaded…if anyones interested…

https://www.youtube.com/v/bKKyaDZR1g8?fs=1&hl=en_GB&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999

smiled:).

Thanks Shane, Im very interested and will watch these tonight on my home PC (no sound on my work one).

https://www.youtube.com/v/SLcvCi3A--0?fs=1&hl=en_GB&color1=0x3a3a3a&color2=0x999999

THIS ONE DOSEN’T NEED SOUND CHRIS:D.

smiled.

:laugh: nor subtitles either

a dispatcher…I have fights with them all the time…cu.n.ts:D

headset/pushback/towing/shutdown team mate…duhhhhhh…:D.

smiled:).

and an ex-pongo as well…maes you a smelly cu.nt:D

:smiley:
one smelly cunt…
and a 1 shirehorses minge…
rite pair we are:D

What I want to know, Shane, is when you went through security, did you let them touch your junk :w00t:

lol

smiled.

I know i was in total shock :wink:

So mate if the pilot suddenly collapsed (and the co-pilot, and autopilot blew up…anymore pilots? FFS), could you bring 'er down?

Or would you just get your c*ck out (again) to entertain, whilst everyone else was running around in a blind panic and grabbing their mobiles to make that last ‘I love you’ call. :smiley:

:smiley:

plan A I would pick up a miniture bottle of Jack Daniles and a small can of coke from the drinks trolly on my way to the cabin…strap my self in and take alook at whats going on…

First ide look right behind me to see if the auto pilot tripswitch can be enabled…if it cannot be switched back on…plan B as follows…:wink:

first ide check the FMC…(<A class=l onmousedown=“return clk(this.href,‘’,‘’,‘’,‘8’,‘’,‘0CEMQFjAH’)” href=“Flight Management Computer”>Flight Management Computer)…this would give me all the waypoints of the route we are taking…incl speeds/distances and Flight levels…then ide scroll over too the fuel burned and ZFW (Zero Fuel Weight) and fuel available for the rest of the trip and configure the aircraft too the information displayed…;)…

Then i would contact ATC (everyone knows what this is) to issue a mayday and pass on information ive collected about the state of the aircraft…once ive chatted to them …i would then talk to everyone on the tannoy and calm them down…tell them the’re in good hands as ive never done this before other than Microsoft FSX (pc home flight simulator):smiley:

Next on my list would be too configure the aircraft for approach…ide set my alt (10,000ft lets say) and slow the aircraft down too 250 kts (knots)…and check my fuel to decide if i need to dump any…once at my desired airspeed i would set flaps and select spoilers to armed…still following my approach pattern…

Once ive continued on my approach…i would then slow too 140kts …configure my flaps for landing…select auto brack to full and lower my landing gear (wheels) and wait for 3 green…(green lights to indicate the wheels have deployed and locked)…

We would be on Finals now (Last bit of landing)…and i would be keeping my eyes on my speed…angle of attack ( position of the nose in relation to the horision to ensure we didn’t stall) and lining up with the runway…once i see my 2 green lights and 2 red lights at the base of the runway indicating that i am at the correct altitude in relation to distance of the runway i would slap on the landing lights and bring the bird down observing all infront of me…

once we have touched down i would pull back the throttles to idle and deploy my spoilers…only then would i select reverse thrust to slow us down while auto brake slows down the back wheels…

once at 80 kts i would dis engaged reverse thrust and bring the bird to a halt at the end of the runway…cut the fuel switches and shut down the engines…once they have spooled down i would then turn off the anti-collision lights (the red one that flashes on top and below the aircraft) to signal the emergancy sevices that its safe to come to the aircraft…only then would i tell the crew too deploy the emergance rafts…

once i checked the whole aircraft that everyone was gone…ide follow suit…and leave the aircraft…:D.

i reckon i could…;).

smiled:D.

Bollocks you would.

You’d get your c*ck out and start dancing.

Fcking exhibitionist wnker :laugh:

Typical Shane, lots of mentions of flaps. Bloody pervert!;):smiley: