Perhaps carrying some Johnsons Baby Oil? 
Spare contact lenses
Spare earplugs
Multitool
Under the seat I also have:
Waterproof top
Winter gloves
Piece of rag
A bungee/cargo net
-tel. no. for breakdown people
-teeny tiny puncture repair kit
-phone/camera
-bottle of water, cigarettes, and a book (to read in case I get stuck anywhere waiting for the breakdown people)
-waterproofs and 1 pair spare gloves
That’s all the spare kit I’ll be taking for a 2.5 week, 2-to-3,000 mile Euro tour.
I’m not a mechanic, but I’ve just had a full service and MOT done, I’ve paid for Euro breakdown cover, and I’m not afraid to use it. If I need any simple tools (to get panels off, e.g. to change a bulb - which is about as much as I can imagine doing before calling out the cavalry), then I’ll borrow them.
I won’t be carting a load of “just in case” stuff all round the continent, and I’ll have lots of spare room on my scoot for presents and souvenirs:)
Never suggested taking up lots of room. (Or weight.) It’s to easy fit in the tail pack with all the other stuff. e.g. food, waterproofs, etc.
As I suggested somewhere, this post is aimed at the pragmatic and practical bikers.
I too take the book and the RAC card. It’s just I’d rather keep moving if it’s an easy fix with a bit of flobbo (must get a new can of that) than sit around waiting for a. n. other to turn up, sometime, with no idea what to do with a motorcycle.
O.K., I go with the book and the plastic, but what else?
Still can’t think of a use for a rubber chicken. The condom’s good though. Stops the rain running into the exhaust.
Thing is though, you probably have a bit of a clue what might have gone wrong and what you need to do to fix it. If I took tools, there’s honestly a big chance I’d do more damage than there was in the first place 
Thing is though, you probably have a bit of a clue what might have gone wrong and what you need to do to fix it.
True. Most times I’ve managed to get home without the cavalry, if slowly and carefully.
It has also been the case that if I’d had the bag, I’d not be calling the cavalry and once or twice (long in the past, I’m pleased to say) I knew exactly what was wrong, could have fixed it, but didn’t have the fully equipped workshop with me.
Anyway, thanks for input people, I’ll get around to making my list now.
And then probably forget to pack the stuff next time I go out, cos life is like that.