Was in a bike shop today buying fork seals and fork oil, the guy was checking the quantity required in his book and exclaimed ’ wow it takes a lot ,480.[ml]
they normally only take half a litre…
any other bike related silly sayings ?
In 2001 I bought a new gsxr1000 from the then Motorcycle City, after taking it in for a service I enquired about the cost of the next one. Surprised to hear it would be an extra £100 on top of the previous one even though there was the same amount of work to do.
I thought I’d ask why? to which the reply was that they’d have to check the carbs…:w00t:
He was a bit embarrased when I pointed out it was fuel injected.
I often get told that one of my lights has “died”
(the high beam) 
“All this artificial feeding aint natural.”
My mates mum. Late 80’s and still striking terror into the heart of bus drivers turning up late.
Oldguy.
Murray Walker is a favourite of mine for classic quotes…“there’s nothing wrong with the car except it’s on fire.”
“He’s in front of everyone in this race except for the two in front of him”
“I’ve just stopped my startwatch”
“The young Schumacher has been upstaged by the teenager Jenson Button who is 20”
“And now excuse me while I interrupt myself”
He might be 83 years old but he still loves his motorsport, I saw him running around the BSB paddock last week at Thruxton…he loves the bikes:cool:
I remember hearing someone ask for “Half a Dozen Chicken McNuggets” to which the McAssistant replied… “Sorry, we only do Sixes or Twelves”:D:D:D
Haha, that reminds me when I went to Wickes to get some timber and asked them to cut it in half to which the young lad replied " how many pieces would I like it cut into?" 
I had a Kawa H1 a few year ago… It was playing up (middle cylinder plug as usual) and I pulled up at a bike shop to get it looked at…" Sounds like it’s only running on 3 cylinders", was the diagnosis…
I wish…:w00t:
More Murrayisms…
*And that just shows you how important the car is in Formula One Racing.
Eight minutes past the hour here in Belgium - and presumably eight minutes past the hour everywhere in the world.
Either the car is stationary, or it’s on the move.
He can’t decide whether to leave his visor half open or half closed.
In twelfth and thirteenth, the two Jaguars of Eddie Irvine.*
And my personal favourite:
You might not think that’s cricket, and it’s not, it’s motor racing.
The great man himself is currently curating an exhibition of sixties TT bikes - all the good 'ole Nortons and Triumph Bonnies and things, from when we were actually good at building stuff! - up by Oxford Circus, somewhere. Always meaning to go, but never found the time.
I was telling a friend of mine a joke at the weekend and I said:
“So this woman has two twins right…”
As opposed to what then?
And last year I bought myself a turntable from Currys so i could start to listen to all my old LP again. I go into the shop and I s**t you not - the young chap did not HAVE A FRIGGING CLUE what one was! He said, “you mean decks”? He couldnt grasp that I only wanted ONE!!
In the end i had to explain what an album looked like “Large black round thing with a hole in the middle”
I’m only 33!!!
Fav of mine is…whilst getting my zx7r Dyo’d, a helpful man suggestsYou need to get a power commander on that
- it’s a carb’d bike!
Stick around on this forum, and you’re bound to see one or two gems:D
Nothing to do with bikes but just seen the Surgeon at Western Eye Hospital for my predicament and his analysis was:
‘‘there is no permanent damage but the floating line you see is the gel in your eye ball, and that will be there forever’’!!!
Nice touch, so not permanent then?
Sam, my g/f’s ex-sister-in-law, is a biker too and has an Aprilia 250. Last time we met she asked when she was getting a pillion on the back of my new VFR. I told her that I couldn’t take her out yet because it had the single-seat cowl on when I bought it and didn’t have the pillion grab handles, I was still looking for some from a breaker. “Don’t worry”, says Sam, “I’ll grip with my knees and if you’re going too fast I’ll bang on your helmet…”
Needless to say, I haven’t given her a ride yet. In any sense…
Nor should you. (Give her a ride, that is.)
Like Man Law says, mates sisters, g/f, wifes sisters are strictly off limits.
Not only that, with a seat cowl, she could come off.