“Brian” came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he
often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing
a long flowing white robe.
“Who the hell are you?” Demanded Brian, “and what are you doing in my
bedroom?”.
The mysterious Man answered “This isn’t your bedroom and I’m St Peter”.
Brian was stunned "You mean I’m dead!!! That can’t be, I have so much to
live for, I haven’t said goodbye to my family… you’ve got to send me back
straight away".
St Peter replied “Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can
only send you back as a dog or a hen.”
Brian was devasted, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he
asked to be sent back as a hen.
A flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around
pecking the ground. “This ain’t so bad” he thought until he felt this
strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said “So you’re the new hen, how are
you enjoying your first day here?”
“It’s not so bad” replies Brian, “but I have this strange feeling inside
like I’m about to explode”.
“You’re ovulating” explained the rooster, “don’t tell me you’ve never laid
an egg before”.
“Never” replies Brian
“Well just relax and let it happen”
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out
from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his
emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first
time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had
happened to him… ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an
enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting
“Brian, wake up you drunken old git, you’re sh*tting the bed”