New Direction for the Recruiters ??

Off-topic
1

Drafting Guys over 60----think about it !!!-

New Direction for any war: Only Send Diggers over 60!

I am over 50 and the Armed Forces thinks I’m too old to track down rag-head
terrorists. You can’t be older than 42 to join the military. Haven’t they got the
whole thing orse-about??. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they
ought to take us old bastards. You shouldn’t be able to join a military unit
until you’re at least 35.

For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds.
Old buggers only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more
than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young blokes haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and believe me a cranky
Digger is a dangerous soldier. ‘My friggin back hurts! I can’t sleep, I’m
tired and hungry’ We are all grumpy and impatient and maybe letting us kill
a few arse holes that desperately deserve it will make us feel much better
and shut us up for a while.

Most 18-year-old don’t even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get
up early to have a **** so what the hell. Besides, like I said, 'I’m tired, pissed off
and can’t sleep anyway so bugger it since I’m already up, I may as well shoot a
few fanatical bastards…

If captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d forget where we put the
bastards anyway!. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
stretch for most of us …

Basic training camp would be easier for old guys. We’re used to whingeing and
getting screamed and yelled at and we’re used to soft food. We’ve also
developed an appreciation for guns. (we`ve seen all the old John Wayne
movies) and we’ve been using guns for years to shoot bloody rabbits as an
excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming, nagging and
yelling. What’s more Ragheads are bigger than rabbits anyway!

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I’ve been in combat
and didn’t see a single 20-foot wall with ropes hanging over one side and a
puddle on the other. As for “push ups” - 40 years of rooting the missus
should count for something!

Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. Even I know
you cant outrun a friggin bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning to
shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn’t
figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back
of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more
about life before sending them off into harm’s way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten mongrel terrorists… The last
thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off nackered
old farts with an attitude and automatic weapons, who know that their best
years are already behind them.

***HEY !How about recruiting Women over 50 …with PMS !!! You think us
old geezers have attitudes !!! Holy shite!!! the mind boggles!!! :w00t:

2

War and conflict often seems to boil down to cynical, self-serving, middle aged men (whether they are politicians, generals, directors of large corporations or taliban commanders) manipulating the natural aggression, and energy of young men for their own ends.

If you manage to survive being a young man* and actually get to middle age you realise how f*cking stupid it all is.

(survive the drunken fights after pub closing, riding your bike like your never going to die, or ending up in someone elses war) .

3

Can we mod this to “drafting guys over 50” please?

A few years back I’d have agreed with you but once you get over 60 you get bloody tetchy if there’s not a half decent glass of wine (or, better, two) with dinner and a few home comforts.

As for getting up early, forget it. I didn’t work for 45 years just to see the bloody sunrise. And where are we going to find the Telegraph crossword? Bet they’re not in ration packs. Nor’s the pub lunch.

Oh, and a smelly Labrador (or equal) is essential if you expect us to walk.

Last. I’m only experienced at load carrying in Sainsbury’s bags. Are they issue kit?

4

Pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me, oh, lost the thread, what was it i`ve volunteered for?

5

Jetstream As far as I recall, it was for motorcycling up the North face of the Eiger in winter wearing nowt but a jock strap and a huge grin.

6

Yeah, and if soldiers of all armies were old blokes, probably there would be no wars. They would just say, the hell with that war, let’s go and have some beer :slight_smile: Which is certainly a good thing.