A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the patio, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn.
Cheryl from next door saw us and was so upset that she came over and yelled at me…‘You lazy b…d! Sitting there drinking beer while your poor wife pushes that ancient lawn mower around! Get up off your arse and give her a break!’
I thought ‘****! … Women!’ Took another swig from my can, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my sunnies, stared directly at this nosey cow and told her in no uncertain terms ‘Sod off and mind your own business. My wife has green fingers, and she really enjoys gardening’.
After a few days I felt really bad , so I went out and bought her a ride-on mower to show my sensitive side. I am so proud of the deal I got. I am also proud that my wife can now sit down while mowing the lawn. Yes , after all we should take good care of our wives … that way, maybe they will be so grateful and take good care of us!
I have attached a picture below. I hope it comes through OK [see below] 
I’M TOO BLOODY SOFT WITH HER… SHE WILL WANT GEARS ON IT NEXT!!!.