this is just to say sorry to everyone that i may have pissed lately
i have been very ill over the last couple of months,and i know i have said something that maybe i shouldn’t have but in some cases maybe i was pushed to it.
i have been suffering from depression,pain and really feed up with life in general,basiclly if sam was not so much in love with me and know it was not me i think she would have gone too.
my spelling is ****,
basiclly i didn’t know what i was doing from day to day,i was getting very angry for no real reason and the slightist thing would set me off.
we went from having £45,000 in our savings to nothing, couldn’t go back on the road because of my back,to me my life was over,not just because of the job.
i just had to got and have the screws and plates taken out of my spine as one of the screws was causing a problem with my spinal cord(rubbing so as my spinal cord was pulsing it was sending the wrong messages to my brain).
if it was bone it would have worn the bone away(so the doctor says).
it got to the point when i cooked my little some food and when he was eating it he said he didn’t like it and i just started crying this when sam phoned the doctor as we know i had a problem.
as in just over 2 yrs since doing my back i have had to take 15 months of work in all
the last op went well been 3 weeks now just staring to get my head back on the right tracks.
i have been on anti depressants,anti swelling tablets all in all that 4500mg of tablets a day for the last 2 yrs i think they took there toll.
i have to take another 3 months off,and not ment to lift anything more then a full kettle of water for 6 weeks,i cant stay of work for to long but as im not aloud to drive a car either i cant get there yet.
this is not excuse just an insight.
so sorry is all i can say as im not going to read through every thing that i put as it will only make me feel more stupid/low than i already do.
i have not said much to many people as people will just take the **** and kick me while im down.
i know i have a lot of friends on here that i have never and i would just like to say thank you to you all.
today’s thread was just to find out why people that didn’t know hated me no other reason.
Have another stiff whisky on me! It takes guts to admit what you are going through. Chin up and ignore people who deliberately set out to **** you off. I’ve got savage whiplash in constant pain and not a happy chappy, and that is only 1% of what you have had to put up with. Life goes on.
Cant for the life of me figure out why you’re appologising, quite enjoyed reading your posts, both here & on VD. I suppose lb is the natural home for prudes who ride bikes though
I dont know what this is about or why you are apologising, but it seems like you are having a real rough time at the moment and I wish you the best for your back and your depression and your life in general. I hope you get well soon, both body and mind!
K…ing hell…!!! this is better than the telly nowdays…:w00t: Err sorry that you have had a bad time of things…dont beat yourself up about it though…im sure someone loves you…
hey mate…i understand what your going threw fella…i dont know…but i understand;).
i must admit…in all the time ive been reading ur posts…some of the later ones didnt sound like you atall…
anyways…you havent once insulted me or anything like that buddy but i just wanna say thank you very much for the insight…it takes alot of guts to say what you said…if not for anything else but to share what your going through…
so anyways mate,really glad ur on the mend and still with us all at LB…
have a very merry christmas to you and the familly and hope to catch up soon at the shop…
Fair play to you mate for being big enough to put all that on here, I dont know you and vice a versa but I wish you well for 08 I doubt anyone gonna kick you when your down now they know the facts, so merry crimbo and all that and see you around in the new year.
A lot of the anger you see on here, although it looks as though it’s directed at other individuals more often than not it’s an expression of the anger we feel at ourselves.
Take it easy matey and try to have a relaxing Christmas.
I’ve had 3 disks cut from my spine (2 ops over 7 years) and I’ve been is so much pain I would have done anything to have it stop.
Before the first op I didn’t sleep at all for about 3 months and was taking full-bore valium, elephant strength pain killers and anti-inflamitories and just to try to get them to kick in a bit harder, usually about half a bottle of the hard stuff a day too.
It (the pain if not the drugs) messes with your head mate.
Do what the docs say! DO NOT push yourself too hard! Once your mended, you can rebuild.
It takes guts to admit what you are going through. Chin up and ignore people who deliberately set out to **** you off. I’ve got savage whiplash in constant pain and not a happy chappy, and that is only 1% of what you have had to put up with. Life goes on.
