a man walks into a local hospital with two black eyes a fractured jaw and a 5 iron wrapped round his neck, the doctor says “my god what happened to you?” he replies well me and the wife were out playing golf and we both sliced our balls from the fourth and they ended up in field full of grazing cows so we jumped the fence after a few minutes i noticed something white sticking out of one cows rear end so ilifted up the tail and there it was my wifes ball with her initials on it" well said the doc what happened then" the man replies “well i lifted up the cows tail again and yelled at my missus hey this looks like yours-- but i dont remember much after that!!!”
hahaha I liked that one 
lol magic!
PMSL I actually laughed out loud at this one, people looking at me strangely now. 
and thats different how???
Oi Cheeky! Thought that was just your wonky eye!
LMAO … BigSV u are easily pleased