A really good friend of ours committed suicide today WHY! I just dont understand. Feel totally helpless, there is nothing we can do which just makes things worse. He started behaving strangly a few weeks ago, loads of our family and friends were checking on him, making sure he was feeling loved and looked out for, he just got so paranoid and I guess things just got too much. Another friend of ours broke into his house today, he knew he was in their, my Dad had spoken to him only a few minutes beforehand, he seemed really confused so my Dad asked our friend to go round and see him as he is stuck in Bristol on business, he found him hanged. WHY STEPH WHY
We never got the pleasure of riding out with you, it would have been mad but good good fun.
We will miss you so much, you will never be forgotten, love you you old ‘Twydallite’
my father took his own life when i was 10, i still ask why…
i still think what if he had’nt done what he did…it still effects me, but you know what, the older i get the more i can see why…i know that feeling of being very alone.
i like the words in here, i always have read when things get a bit much and when i think of dad. :crying:
When a tragedy like this happens, for those left behind to cope with the fact that a loved one did, at one moment in time, feel unable to go on, there are so many questions and always a lot of guilt. It can be the most devastating thing, because it’s taboo in many ways, often people don’t know how to react or how to comfort friends and family.
I don’t think the Why will ever be answered. But you, your dad, his friends and family loved him and tried to help him. I think there will always be the torment of ‘what if we’d gone round earlier’, ‘what if he’d had professional help’, ‘what if etc etc’, but in the end, it happened, and you loved him and were his friend. He will have known that, even in his confused state, that people like you cared for him and loved him. Sometimes that’s all we can do.
I know that nothing people say can make it any better, but I’d just like to say I’m sorry, and thinking of you and his loved ones. He couldn’t cope in the end, but you and people around him were his friends and that counts for a lot.
When I first met Steph all I could think of was why does my Dad attract such weirdos! He looked liked a member of ZZ Top, was extremely loud, very crude, and nothing like any of my Dads other friends. But over the years he became like a member of the family. He had the biggest heart, would do anything for anybody, he calmed down a lot, he tidyed himself up, he became such a great friend of ours that he was our toastmaster at our wedding. He was such a great guy, our world is going to be a lot quieter and boring now he’s gone.
Thanks for your words guys, and thanks for the poem Russell, will re-read it again tmrw when hopefully it will sink in a bit more.
I expect at the moment it doesn’t really quite seem that it’s actually happened, but my thoughts are with you and his friends and family in the days and months to come. It will be very very tough, trying to come to terms with the loss of such a top, big hearted man from your world, all the questions about the way everything ended.
Take care - look after each other.
He sounds like a top guy and a big part of your lives.
i have dealt with similar incidents over the years and its never easy to explain or understand . but i always think that the person is where they want or need to be. they have made the choice and though it never makes it any easier for those left behind its better than being taken when you dont want to go !!!
Thanks everyone for your words. Woken up after a sh*te nights sleep, head feels like its going to explode and still desperately trying not to cry again. Have to put on suit, make-up and happy face today, have another interview!
Yesterday was just such a bad day in so many ways, we also lost the last of our 6 cygnets which were born on 25 May (at least this one we didn’t have to fish out of the pond, we actually comforted it until its last moments0. Some bacteria killed them all, happens every yr apparently but we’ve only lived here since Nov '07 so haven’t had to go through it before, totally heartbreaking watching these little dudes die. And then I was told I’d lost out on a job because my sickness level was too high last year, despite most of it being certified - it was a bad year for me, deal with it!
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And its my birthday on Saturday, really really would just like to cancel it this yr, was CC(H) on the 3rd of this month, and Stephs last Friday - ever get that feeling when you just need a break!
dudette, so sorry for your loss, its a terrible tragedy and I hope that you are able to find someone to talk to, to help you get through it and even just to talk and get things off your chest, if you can’t give me a shout I’ll talk to you. I know there are a few counselling organisations out there that are very good that my family used when my auntie did the same thing a few years ago…
you’ve got a great community in LB and I’m sure that everyone will be there for you.
Good luck with your interview today, keep up the positive appearance - tell them you need the job because you want an upgrade on your SV!
So sad…I have to say that since my divorce and my accident the pressures of basic life can sometimes build up, everything becomes a chore, your reasons for living change…even sleep can become scary and difficult…it has taken me 9 weeks of hell to overcome those demons since my accident and whilst it never entered my mind to give in to it I can now undertstand, accept, and sort of respect people who take that route as their only choice…
I know dudette it must hurt immensley for people around but take heart in the fact that he is now at peace…something that he may not have had whilst he was around…
Oh im so sorry Dudette, thats just awful. Sending you some cyber hugs hun, my pm box is always open if you just want to talk, rant, clear your chest.
This is also the 3rd suicide Ive heard of in the past week. My friend lost her old school friend, and another friend’s daughter’s school friend took her own life, she was only 15.
