Caught by the fuzz

It was going along the embankment this evening going home , all fine and well making swift progress and light work of traffic, lots of smoke and noise all the good things . I stopped at the lights and all of a sudden I think oooo look at the pretty blue lights . then the pretty blue lights stopped right next to me … The man on the pretty blue lights said … follow meee follow meeee . Apparently the wrong way round the traffic island was the bit . I showed him a replay of how I did it through the skill of mime …He did not clap :angry: but he did laugh:blink: .He then showed interest in the bike I showed him my "baffles " and my expired tax disc… " um thats in the post officer …honestly I am the ONE telling the truth " ,the missing bolt that must have fallen out somewhere … Then he "appreciated " the general homemade blue peter look .I explained how the many hours devotion and attention to cosmetics leads to such art … despite this it mostly passed muster … He gave me a 30 quid wrist slap no points fine and mostly it was all good fun … I bet him 30 quid I could start the bike first kick , but he didn’t take me up on it hahaha

Ouch, but the old rule stands… can’t do the time, don’t do the crime… or at the very least, don’t get caught!
Bite the big chilli, this one’s on you, sorry. Gutted but not gonna sympathise… you earned your points well soldier… take em like a man or get off the bike!

Seems to have been a lot of bikers getting spoken to over the last few days. Lots of bike cops around Vauxhall Bridge, Stockwell, Battersea Power Station.

You didn’t get any points, right?

Meh £30 is nothing really… Worth the entertainment value alone…

But going round the islands the wrong way is a bit of a no-no… So many times I’ve tried to go slowly the right way only to find a cyclist/ scooter/ biker knob come zooming past me because he had gone the other way… Though I have done it on occasion when I got up to the island, stopped, saw the traffic not moving, pedestrian nowhere near… oh feck it…

ahhhhh the old ’ sod it I cant be bothered to keep left’ catches a few out. Done £30 myself on one of them . But nil points.

I may be wrong but the law changed late last year or early this year that certain activities were reduced to a fine only - wrong way round an island being one and the other is going up one way street wrong way, there was a couple of other but can’t recall as I never do that sort of thing officer;)


I had drunk a mega coffee earlier, hence the more haste than normal . After our chat I was off shrapish before I got another fine .

no fuzz down embankment for me other night tho the odd brush with the law is expected now and then,he prob just fancied a nose at your bike thinking it was some bodged together rat bike and lost a bet to himself reaslising it was a home brewed work of art :laugh:

Whilst we cannot condone the sheer naughtiness of the behaviour, the write up was very funny:D:D

Up at Bishopsgate in amongst all the on-going roadworks a young lad on scooter and an older guy on a hornet got a stern talking to for sitting in the cycle box. The officer said if he didn’t have to be somewhere he would have done them both for 2 points and a fine?! I swear thats not the case for sitting in a cycle box…I would have thought just a fine. Anyway they went off pretty sheepish. I was glad I was sitting behind the officer behind the line :Whistling:

Two rules I never break in London (well, excluding traffic lights) are going the wrong way round a keep left sign, and overtaking the last vehicle on a zig-zag. These two can be caught by the camera nazis, and there are many. I really hate riders who ride expecting me to break these two rules, and then get a bit surprised/caught out when I don’t.

the old bill love sitting in Danvers Street off Chelsea Embankment… lying in wait for the Island jumpers… … … dont ask how i know !! :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m guessing you’re referring to the leading vehicle on the approach to a pedestrian crossing …

As above many of these offences have been de-criminalised and with the local authorities strapped for cash to fund unsustainable pension agreements the CCTV operators will be banging out as many FPN’s as there grubby little mitts can input.


If you do, ts just plain idiotic and you deserve to get point/fine.

They bean counters did well out of this week . . One 30 quid fine a parking ticket and I booked my speed awareness course . . 180 quid all in .

Sorry if this sounds dumb, but what do you mean with “going the wrong way round a keep left sign” ?

i’ve only got stopped twice in my riding history, and one of them was going around the island the wrong way. they were really nice to me as well, had a laugh and £30 later off i go.

once you get caught, and fined, you learn to look for rozzers before you do it. :smiley:

Going right.

Islands have them, KEEP LEFT so you go to the left of the island only. Not right. Plain stupid. People crossing the road, granted should look left and right but they shouldn’t have to expect bikers coming the round way round the island.

Slow down, slip in behind/infront of the car and be on your way. Slow you down by…30seconds?

Worth a fine/point/silly course/injuring someone? NO

Thought was what you meant.