Abductee warning

Off-topic
1

Oh. My. Gawd.

Yesterday was nice. Yesterday, half the population had been abducted by aliens and the roads were a pleasure to drive on.

Today, the aliens returned the missing half, dazed and confused and pretending to drive cages. I’ve never seen the like.

1/ An old geezer with dementia on the A12 just before the Blackwall Tunnel. Sat at the lights for an age as they changed to green, wondering if this was the aliens coming back for him. On the other side of the tunnel, he straddled the middle and outside lanes at 38 mph, hedging his bets just in case the UFO had missed him.

2/ A2, cars slamming their brakes on in the inside lane, frantic signalling and swerving into the outside lane… yes, a young lady travelling at 38 mph while sending a text “hi alienz, yestrday was cool cn we do it agen?”, finding that inner peace with her new friends, oblivious to the chaos outside her cage.

3/ In the 50 mph roadwork zone of the M25 south of Dartford crossing, an old couple in the middle lane doing 38 mph and indicating right… for mile after mile. What the hell did the aliens say to them?

4/ The A21. Don’t want to think about it. The aliens had dropped pace cars every half mile, keeping us all at the regulation 38 mph.

And that was only the outbound trip. Aaaaaaaarghhh!! Then we had to come back from the seaside and suffer it all again. How I envied the biker filtering up the A21 at about 80 mph. The aliens weren’t gonna get him, no sir.

2

They got us yesterday but we had no useful information. After a while they became confused and a little fractious, my gortex underpants saved the day!

3

On days like today I stick to B’s and U/C’s - any road with an A or M in front of it is bound to be torture.

I had 70-odd miles of pure bliss today - the few cages on the B roads were just good overtaking practice. :w00t:

4

On Friday night I left work on the Isle of dogs at 8pm.

Go through the underground roundabout by Canary Wharf and stop at the lights.

A cyclist comes flying past and straight through the red lights - just as a Black cab was turning left (his lights were green).

The cyclist brakes, skids and manages to get the bike sideways and stop 6 inches from the cabbie - mental - 1 second earlier and he was toast.

It was drissling and very slippery.

I’m then on the last bit of my journey along the Rochester Way. 30 mph zone and I’m going 30. 2 car decide I’m going too slow and screech past.

Just glad to get home in one piece.

5

Aliens, what aliens?

6

Aha! Jetstream, you are a little green man and I claim my £5.

7

Sorry, no £5 for you, we are real and were seen in the flesh on Sunday

8

It’s really odd:doze:

The traffic as so light this morning, I think this abduction theory might have some substance:w00t:

It may of course be an increase in people slashing their wrists due to Big Brother and Euro 2008;):smiley:

9

Where was MY light traffic? :crying:

oh well, Mallory was great at the weekend and Im off from wednesday night so im jumping around so excited! :slight_smile:

Frankly, if they abduct em, they can keep em…

10

I can vouch for the fact that I saw both personalities of what is known as Jetstream at the FBOS course. Their human costumes were suprisingly realistic…

glad you managed to avoid the a-probing yourself mate…

11

Avoid it, we begged for more, until they begged to release us.