Training on the job (for all those at work)

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity

from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained

through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING ( S.H.I.T.). We

are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,

please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of

the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing

that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL

EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take

D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE

TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they

were promoted, they don’t have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full

of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training

others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST

(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get

the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY

PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF

TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

That’s the work of a genius!