Never heard of a chinese fire drill, kinda looks like an opportunity to have your car nicked especially in London, and I think that having someone in the boot like that is not strictly legal.
Away back on topic:
Try and straight/pull your pants into a more comfortable position.
Every now and then I like to beep my horn to cyclists who slowly jump the red lights and then catch up with them to ride along a bit… It’s funny how a cyclist can ride straight red faced and looking down at the tarmac…
If the driver of the car next to me is texting i lean over and read what they are typing/looking at etc or if they are are talking i sit there on ‘fast tickover’