The reason I'm so happy this morning....

is I’ve started my ‘attack plan’ on the missus…

…objective - To Replace My Trusty Mount With an SB!!!

Not that the Scram is a bad bike - it’s bags of fun , especially in the City and on beautiful days when you just want to tonk about… but … I have a large , SB sized hole in my desires that can only be filled by a rootin tootin SB.

Phase 1 starts tonight with a simple flanking movement saying “Darling that bike is great but…”

I’ll let you know how it goes - I could risk a frying pan round the noddle - so wish me luck!

What you want is for her to “come up with the idea”. Admittedly this is a little more difficult when the target object is a SB rather than a tourer etc, but can be done.

First thing is to work the safety angle by dropping hints here and there e.g. how incredible the brakes are on SB’s.

Secondly you want to make the finances side of it work for you - mention reliability, cheaper services, longer service intervals, cheaper spares etc (Do not mention tyre life/costs). Alternatively come in from the garage with some random bike part in your hand and just mumble something under your breath, in passing about high running costs of the current bike (this is a flanking move), then in a few days/weeks time look up into the distance from reading a bike magazine with a very surprised/astonished look, but don’t say anything until she asks - then when she does, casually mention that you never thought SB’s could save you money…

At some point you indirectly want her to find out that your hearts greatest desire (other than her naturally) has always been to own a SB - a story about the first time you saw one when you were only 5… hang on, did they even have bikes back then???

Well it worked for me with the ol man…mind u, i wouldve got the bike anyway, cos i paid for it !!

Brilliant Fridayman!!!

I’ll mention how well the tyres on a SB stick to the road on cornering compared to my Scrams knobblies…

then I’ll work in the brakes, servicing , how light it is to push (compared to the Scram ) " I mean you wouldn’t want me to get a hernia darling would you???.."

Ho yes it’s shaping up nicely…

- a story about the first time you saw one when you were only 5… hang on, did they even have bikes back then???

They did! Leather driving bands 3 1/2 horsepower - acetylene lamps luvlly!

Thats brilliant, I will start work on this as soon as I get home this evening. Perhaps I should stop at the florist on the way home…

My way was to say something like

(put on your distressed face and look her STRAIGHT in the eye, otherwise she knows you’re lying)

“had a near miss tonight and its all down to the brakes on that bike, they have nowhere near the stopping power of a proper race bike”

after a few days

“I was trying to overtake this HGV when he suddenly sped up leaving me trapped on the wrong side of the road and the damn useless acceleration on that bike nearly killed me…”

now for the tricky part, get her when shes down or feeling very cosy ahem

Say something like " wow those SB’s have very good brakes and are very manoeuverable it would be nice to try out on of those for the commute"

>>>>good luck

" even better - if you’ve got the nerve is to ‘break down’ when you should be home for an important event , roll in muttering bloody triumoh etc and ’ wouldnt happen on a jap bike" all combined above she’ll root for the new bike

Just go and do it, I went out to buy brake fluid to put Braided hoses on my 8 month Old B1 and bought a new spangly C1. She was not amused but Hey, I never complain when she comes home with new shoes

cry…get them tears going mate…

you were out this afternoon and you had a near miss becouse of that bike…it was not your fault as a car did a u-turn right in front of you…the brakes didnt perform aswell as you thought just missing that car!!!

its made you think of her and all that you two have done with each other…an sb would insure that you have many years of life togeather…the running costs are half of the scram,and its cheaper in petrol and genral running cost too!

this was my pitch from running my 89 slingshot to the k6…work a treat…it really does…!!!


Great suggestions all…!!!

Now to put them into action, timing is everything … I’ll probally start this weekend ( making sure that she is in an A1 mood first ) …

Crying has got to be option D…

Option C could be engineer a brakedown (not a real one silly ) - when it’s raining - come home covered in mud , wet through ( in relaity having spent a cosy afternoon up the Ace ) and start muttering …" that things so unreliable - if it lets me down again I’m gonna trade it in"

*** Option © copywrite Romanov 2006 ****

So how is this working out? Have you had to cry yet?

have you had to wear the knees out in the leather jeans which dont fit you any more as well!!

Good point Salee, we had lying, begging, crying but not that.