The Obituary for Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
Why the early bird gets the worm;
Life isn’t always fair;
And maybe it was my fault.Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but Overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, outlawing smacking, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his

Parents, Truth and Trust;
His wife, Discretion;
His daughter, Responsibility;
And his son, Reason.He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers;

I Know My Rights,
Someone Else Is To Blame,
And I’m A Victim.Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Sorry, but much in that item is simply false or unjustified. And I get really annoyed at repeated myths when the truth is well known and easily researched.

For example, you can defend yourself in your own home if you feel threatened. What you can’t do is chase after people and shoot them in the back with an unlicensed weapon as they are leaving. Common sense really. Wha tyo ualso can’t do is use unreasonable force - reasonable means you apply common sense.

Also, if common sense had been applied by McDonalds, they would not have had a policy of serving coffee at 85C, when the stuff can only be safely drunk at temperatures below 55C. The woman who made the claim against them spend eight days in hospital as a result of the spill, had third degree burns of the genitalia, and had to have surgery to remove tissue that the McDonald’s coffee had killed.

The Jury in the hot coffee case reduced the medical damages by 20% in recognition that the woman spilled the coffee so was in part responsible. However, the key facts were that McDonalds sold coffee that was capable of causing serious injury and was unable to give a sensible explaination for doing so, or explain why they did not provide a warning that the drink was dangerously hot.

The reason McDonalds had $2.7m in punative damages awarded against them is that in US law punative damages are aimed at discouraging repeat behaviour. The court considered that a penalty equal to two day’s coffee takings was appropriate. If McDonalds didn’t sell $1.35m in coffee every day, they wouldn’t have been punished so severly. They also would not have had punative damages if they had settled out of court. An independant adjudicator was called in by the parties before the hearing and recommended McDonalds settle for $225,000. McDonalds, no doubt applying common sense, and not bullying corporate tactics, rejected all attempts at settlement.

Details, and not myth, here -

Definitions of joke:

a humorous anecdote or remark intended to provoke laughter; “he told a very funny joke”; “he knows a million gags”; “thanks for the laugh”; “he laughed unpleasantly at his own jest”; “even a schoolboy’s jape is supposed to have some ascertainable point” jest: activity characterized by good humor antic: a ludicrous or grotesque act done for fun and amusement tell a joke; speak humorously; “He often jokes even when he appears serious” a triviality not to be taken seriously; “I regarded his campaign for mayor as a joke” act in a funny or teasing way

A joke is a short story or short series of words spoken or communicated with the intent of being laughed at or found humorous by the listener or reader. This sort of “joke” is not the same as a practical joke.

Humorous tales that can be very short or very long. The older, longer humorous narratives, called Schwänke by folklorists, present stereotyped characters who act out common conflicts of neighborhood life. One type is the Numskull joke which concern the stupid person.

Humor in a dream is a good indication of lightheartedness and release from the tension that may have surrounded some issue. There is, however, also a negative side of humor, such as when someone or something is derided or made fun of.