IF WOMEN DRINK:
Personality: Casual, low maintenance, down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy and a pain in the arse.
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy
Drink: Mixed drinks – no umbrellas.
Personality: Mature, has picky taste, knows what she wants
Approach: If she wants you, she will send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine – (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, Vodka Mule etc.
Personality: Easy thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is… and you’re in.
Personality: Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
Drink: Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc)
Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk … and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.
IF MEN DRINK – As always, very simple and clear cut.
Cider: He is probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
Cheap Domestic Beer: He is poor/student and wants to get laid.
Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Bitter: He is old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.
Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
Wine: He is hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image AND help him get laid.
Vodka/Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.
Port: Thinks he is sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.
Whisky: He does not give two ****s about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.
Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc) to weasel himself into getting laid.
Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.
Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff Ice, Vodka Mule etc:
HE IS NOT INTO WOMEN!