Shower
Like a Woman
Take
off clothes and place them sectioned in
laundry basket
according to lights and darks.
Walk to
bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you
see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the
mirror - make mental note
to do
more
sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the
shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg
cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber
and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure
it’s clean.
Condition your hair with
grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced.
Wash
your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body
with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off
hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn
off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces
in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile
cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with
towel the size of a small country.
Wrap
hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to
bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
head. If you see partner along the way, cover up
any exposed areas.
Shower
Like a Man
Take
off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the
bathroom.
If you see partner along the way,
shake willy at her making the ‘woo-woo’
sound.
Look at your manly physique in the
mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and
scratch your bum.
Get in the
shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your
armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and
let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at
how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend
majority of time washing privates and surrounding
area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum
hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your
hair.
Make a Shampoo
Mohican.
Wee.
Rinse
off and get out of shower.
Partially dry
off.
Fail to notice water on floor because
curtain was hanging out of bath the whole
time.
Admire willy size in mirror
again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat
on floor,light and fan on. Return to bedroom with
towel around waist.
If you pass partner,
pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the
‘woo-woo’ sound again.
Throw
wet towel on bed.
