the difference between men and womens dictionaries

40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you’re in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You’re very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

  1. I am hungry = I am hungry
  2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
  3. I am tired = I am tired
  4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
  5. I love you = let’s have sex now
  6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
  7. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you
  8. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you
  9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you
  10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you
  11. Those shoes don’t go with that outfit = I’m gay
    And finally…
    A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
    For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

Preach it, borther! You got those right! :wink: