terrorist threat levels

"The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” Londoners have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels inFrance are “Surrender” and “Collaborate.” France’s raised terror alert level was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed the country’s “white flag” factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has also increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance "to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the onlythreat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so that the new Spanish Navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish Navy."

“A bit cross…”

That made me laugh out loud. English humor/understatement is quality.

Does anyone have a pic of the headline/editorial ran in one of the London papers after the underground bombing? Something to the effect of “What the f*ck do you think you’re doing? THIS is London…we don’t give in to terrorist twats…so stick those bombs of yours up your own arse and head back to whatever sh$t hole you crawled out of prior to coming here.”

That was a brilliant bit of writing…I’ll see if I can find it again.

It might have been The Sun…