Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

“You can’t go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it’s just a cage.”

“Pets are always a great help in times of stress. And in times of starvation too, of course.”

The people who really run organizations are usually found several levels down, where it is still possible to get things done.

It’s not enough to be able to pick up a sword. You have to know which end to poke into the enemy.

Sometimes it’s better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.

It is said that whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first make mad. In fact, whosoever the gods wish to destroy, they first hand the equivalent of a stick with a fizzing fuse and Acme Dynamite Company written on the side. It’s more interesting, and doesn’t take so long.

“I know about people who talk about suffering for the common good. It’s never bloody them! When you hear a man shouting “Forward, brave comrades!” you’ll see he’s the one behind the bloody big rock and the one wearing the only really arrow-proof helmet!”

People who don’t need people usually need people around to know that they are the kind of people who don’t need people.

It is the fate of all banisters worth sliding down that there is something nasty waiting at the far end.

Rumour is information distilled so finely that it can filter through anything. It does not need doors and windows – sometimes it does not need people. It can exist free and wild, running from ear to ear without ever touching lips.

“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”

The truth may be out there, but lies are inside your head.

One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

“Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.”

The world is made up of four elements: Earth, Air, Fire and Water. This is a fact well known. It’s also wrong. There’s a fifth element, and generally it’s called Surprise.

A lie can run round the world before the truth has got its boots on.

No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

you having a bad day at work to then

Nah bro . . . just an expert skiver !!

not had a person in the shop allday here mate

Your on form again Mate HAHA

I think it time you changed your job