Blokes talking in a second hand timber yard. One gobby one says he can tell by smelling a piece of timber blindfolded what said timber is.

The rest of the lads try to catch him out with getting more and more exotic pieces of wood, but he is right every time.

So one day one of the lads has an idea, the company secretary is a bit laddish and is up for the gag. They get a piece of wood and rub it between her legs up near her groin.

When offered the wood the guy says “you can’t catch me out that easily lads, its a ****house door off a trawler”.