A frog goes into a bank and noting the cashier’s name, Patricia Whack, says “I’d like to borrow £30,000 please Ms Whack."
“You’d need to see the manager, can I ask your name?” said Ms Whack.
“Oh I’m a personal friend of the manager”, replied the frog, “my name is Kermit Jagger and I’m the son of Mick Jagger.”
Unconvinced, the cashier asked if he had any identity on him and also some security against the loan. The frog produces a small pink china elephant from a pocket and hands it to her.
A confused Ms Whack goes off to consult the manager.
“There’s a frog by the name of Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow £30,000”, she tells her boss. “And he gave me this pink elephant as security, what’s that all about?”
The manager takes a look and says: “It’s a knick-knack Patti Whack, give the frog a loan, his old man’s a Rolling Stone”
Man goes into his fave seafood restaurant and wants to celebrate closing a good deal at work.
It’s Turkish and the owner Yafez greets him as usual. He goes to the enormous tank full of gorgeous fresh fish, crabs and molluscs and looks for his dinner. He spots a seriously old squid on the bottom of the tank that is gently floating in the fronds of some weed. He’s old and wrinkled. In fact he’s so old he’s gone the same colour green as all the mould and algae in the tank and he’s got a sort of mustache growing on his upper lip.
“That one, Yafez”, says the man.
“Please sir, that is our favourite old friend, please I beg you, choose another!”
“No, I want that one!”
Reluctantly, Yafez fishes out the squid and takes it to the kitchen to butcher it. He raises a massive cleever. Light sparkling off the blade. He’s about to bring it down and kill his old friend, when he stops. He just can’t.
“Hans” he shouts to the dishwasher, “You do it!”
Hans picks up the cleever, but he too hesitates. With a tear in his eye, he turns to his boss and says, “No boss, I can’t!”
And the moral of the story is “Hans that do dishes, can be as soft as Yafez, with mild green hairy lip-squid.”
