scooter riders need a kick in the head

had an amusing tongue in cheek arguement about bikes vs scooter rides with my girl on sunday (she rides a vespa)

whilst i was clearly trying to provoke her, i made reference to the fact that many just use them only as transport,believe a pinstripe suit is imprevious to tarmac, can get one without passing a test (just cbt), and do amazingly brain dead manouvres as a result - most notably the classic right angle ‘no looker’ turn out from between cars. the ‘discussion’ had to be stopped as i was likely to get a kick in the nuts with the sense of humour failure i was inspiring…

this morning we’re on the way to work on the bike and following another bike between the cars/traffic towards lower thames street. suddenly a scoot stuck his front wheel out between the cars without looking, then stuck his head out to take a look. prob was that this was a few metres from the bike in front of me. who slammed on the brakes, skidded the front, just missed the scoot, managed to regain traction bobbled nastily in the seat but didn’t hit the cars and carry on (no doubt with a steaming addition to his leathers). I really thought he was going down hard and ugly, really glad he got away with it.

we got off the bike outside my work and my girl told me she took it back and was in full agreement with me…

To be fair we cant tarnish all scooterists with the same bruch in the same wasy as we are not all speed obsessed stunters. There appear to be three categories of scooter riders:-

  1. The sixteen year old chave in tracksuit and trainers with helmet worn balanced on top of the head.

  2. The city worked in shoes and suit

  3. The serious ped rider with green fish tail parker and fox tail hanging off whip aerial.

Hang fire, they are all mad.

I am considering two additions for my new bike when I get one.
(The Death Star was written off, its official …grrrr … but that’s another story)

  1. A handy flash-lite gun - a one shot converted Mag-lite from the States. Kill the scooter rider, replace cap, turn torch on, sorry officer I was trying to see if he was going to live. Sorry.

  2. Purple spray paint can in handy handle-bar holster. - This is to “MARK” any gimps that drive badly so all other bikers are “aware” of the nutters. There are NO purple cars in general so purple seemed the best choice. A dot, a tag, or the full sentence " This moron drives badly, keep your distance!" on his rear windscreen should do the trick. A simple dot in the middle of the backs of scooter riders should suffice…

Carry on.

herehere, that happened me once on lower thames strt, only i reved the bike so much in rage that the ped rider had second thoughts and proceeded to wobble back into place almost into the back of the car he was trying to go round.

also had an amusing incident when two of the little b@[email protected] swooped in front of me at lights. light went green, i pegged it between the two of them (didnt account for the fact they would wobble when we set off) clipped a few wing mirrors, pulled knees in, job done, and hopefully two ped riders who will think twice about doing it again!!

Full licence for everyone on the road… Including push bikes… that is your answer…
2 advantages are that to start with they will need to demonstrate that they kwon the law and how to ride and also there would be something to take away from them when they missbehave…

I just look down on them from the AT with disdain

I’ve got a solution… scooter jousting


Picture 056-1.jpg

Now that’s an idea

I plastered one across the road this week… he was in and out of traffic like a bee… came in behind me and misjudge my speed - caught my rear wheel… he went one way, scooter went the other… he was wearing no protection at all and got a nasty cut to the knee as well as the hands… silly bugger.

The police turned up then and he acused me of shoving him off! lol! silly ****

lol, on the battle of inertia, i reckon you have the upper hand matt

‘push him over? certainly not, i kicked him AFTER he fell off’…

oh and check out this pillock’s scoot in the office car park. nice to see him taking good car of his ped by spending absolutely nothing on tyres, but carefully installing a hairbrush in the fairing so he can look his best when the ambulance comes for him