Retard Saturday

Off-topic
1

This is just a quick rant to all the motorcyclists who come into a bike shop on the weekend and ask the most stupid questions.

Although your clothing sales men may resemble Gods, we are but mere mortals - not mind readers, nor do we have the patience of saints.

So please think before you open your stinking pie hole.

Here are just some of the questions I / we got asked today…

Customer - Will this chunky back protector make my jackets look more chunky?
Me - Yes you arse, if you stick an inch of foam and plastic up your back it may show.

Customer - I want to buy a new helmet what should I get?
Me - Try the Arai Viper GT in a small
Customer - Its a bit much, do you have anything cheaper?
Me - Try this £35 pound open face Sprada
Customer - I was looking for something cheaper
Me - You obviously don’t have much knocking about between your ears, why not just use an empty Arai box and some string.

Customer - What does this air vent do?
Me - It lets air in
Customer - And this vent?
Me - It does the same as the last vent you arse wipe

Customer - Is this the clothing dept?
Me - Yes, that’s why your standing in a feild of clothes
Customer - Good, I wanted to know if my SV650 has an alarm
Me - Then you would need the service dept
Customer - But can’t you just tell me
Me - Did the previous owner have an alarm fitted?
Customer - No
Me - Did you pay for an alarm to be fitted?
Customer - No
Me - Does the bike come with one as standard?
Customer - No
Me - Then it has no alarm, bright spark.

Customer - Hi, will these over trousers protect me in a crash?
Me - They are 2mm thick and made of cheap plastic, what the F**k do you think

Customer - What gloves should I get?
Me - Ones that go on hands
Customer - How should they fit?
Me - Hmm, I’m not sure, try finding a pair that fit like a glove
Customer - Are these ok?
Me - How do they feel?
Customer - They feel very big
Me - Do you want me to slap you, because I can do that

the Artist

Rant over, thank you for lending me your ears hahaha

P.S I can’t belive you people are allowed out on the road.

2

remember the customer is always right …even if they are not :alien:

3

lol, sounds like you had a great day! :smiley:

never mind its over now. You can go have a drink.

4

Crikey mate, remind me not to go to your bike shop LOL:D :smiley: I reckon I’d be black and blue by the time I left.

I even got the staff at Infinity to fit a soft top box onto the back of my bike and also demonstrate how to put a tank bag on too.

5

Ha ha. I enjoyed reading that! Good rant! :D:D

6

Now that is a professional. I’m proud to have witnessed such a fine example of workplace ranting.

Kudos. :smiley:

7

2mm of cheap plastic is more than anyone could expect, what make are they? Got any ladies boots in a size 7? Got any ladies in size 8?

8

NO!! Not true…

“The customer is never wrong, merely confused”

9

agreed

10

quality rant
lol

11

Many decades ago I worked in a shop - the memories of retarded customers came flooding back!

12

thats great! made me chuckle!

Where do you work?

13

In a Shop :smiley:

14

huh you wana meet retarded ppl? Try my job sometime

:smiley:

15

Good rant. Get the same thing in IT support

That’s the whole of the internet you’ve loaded, isn’t it???

16

good, high quality rant. I’m going to remember some of those questions next time I go shopping :smiley:

17

And from the customers point of view how about a rant about those ignorant people on work experience at Bike clothing/accesories shops who are more interested in texting and chatting to their mates than actually bothering to serve potential customers. And when asked a question look at you blankly and give a totally wrong answer. eg “Could you show me where the pinlock inserts are for a Shoei helmet please?”

“Over there” pointing to a row of Arai ones. Not bothering to even come out from behind the counter

“No sorry, they do not fit a Shoei”

“Hummph” etc etc.

18

Had that at a dealer yesterday, the youngster sitting at a desk surfing the net could not be arssed to even look up from the monitor when I asked him a question, even appeared quite irritated that I had disturbed his fun.

19

Im feeling the love here :wink:

20

Sadly you will get seriously thick people on either side of the customer desk… A good rant though!