Recipe or Being a Barro !!

The Recipe for being a Barro is quiet easy really anyone can do it and heres a no nonsense guide to acheiving it with the bestest gems everyones got at there disposal !!First and foremost you have to be a sort of billy no mates in the biking world and then join a website, preferably run by a bloke called Jay Adair, now this is important as its the best you can get.

Then you have to have a right mish mash of people of all race creeds and colours and all from different walks of life, this is also important as it gives the dish its exclusivity.

Then you prepare a lot of fantastic female bikers and treat with care becouse they tend to blow up and bite you in the arris if you dont obey even though they can mix it with the best of blokes. (another important point here as if you dont have none you aint got a barro)

once simmering you add a Mikey…now this bits a bit dodgey cos a Mikey tends to look like they are going to eat you whole but in reality they are an ingriedient you cannot do without becouse of there unique loyalty and passion…use only one of these as two will be deadly.

While the Mikey is going nuts you can find yaself a Zepher Steve. Now this bits important aswell as you can phone a steve at 4am on a number occassions over a period of weeks…this little spice ball will drive all over london, do printing and never moan that you are driving him mad even though he hasnt had any sleep.

At this point a Stace will be good as you need to bolster the dish for flavour, another ingriedient that never lets you down.

Now you throw in a Topgooner and a Chaz a Trojan and a Flatout cos you want the outcome to impress.

Those of you that are that way inclined you can add a right Bender here !!

A little Div also will be nice and lots of Spiced Jimc and Ginger !!

After a drop of wine you now add a Charity Event which gets all the above all fizzing and simmering nicely.

Now you have time to scream and rant like a right tart down the phones and obliterate your pc while waiting !

At this point you start to boast of how good this is going to be even though you are sheet scared its gonna fail and what happens is you get lots of other ingriedients jumping in the pot that are the speciality…you cannot…I repeat…cannot do without this bit…if you aint got this bit you got nothing and the whole dish is cack !!

make sure you have ingriedients that dont mind missing bits like starters and finishes…you will find them and they will work for you even though they are going without something !!

Now you are ready…

You serve this up gently…being nice and polite and you can now walk about london as if you are the Mutz Nutz when in reality all the above are the stars of the show.

Now you have a Barro !!


For absolute main flashness and boasting effect…you get yaself a little Mushka…

Now this will not only add effect to your Barro, it will arrange a fantastic afters and put icings on cakes.

Bon Apetite

Love and Luck to you all

Barro !!!


love it:w00t:

Dude - like many of the great dishes you can often try to replicate a " farkin good nosh up " but you will NEVER , repeat NEVER beat the original !!!

Nuff respect dude :cool:

Absolutely fookin brilliant! I have nearly peed my knicks with sooooo much laughter.

You Legend!


Nice one…chef did well…:stuck_out_tongue:

A michelin star to you sir - well done!


good effort pal


Top man, nice one Barro! And thanks! You’re doing wonders for your nomination in this years LB Awards Ceremony!

Yeah well…

If Im lucky enough to get a mention then we all know who made it possible.

Team Barro !!

Yeh, your missus…:stuck_out_tongue: for letting you out to play !!

You didnt mention about finishing it all off with a sprinkling of grey hair…:laugh:

OI , OI !!!

I resemble that remark :stuck_out_tongue:

Nothing wrong with a splash of " salt " with the old " pepper "

Apparently it’s " distinguished " :wink: ( well , according to MY missus anyway :smiley: )