Poor joke . . .

Off-topic
1

A man calls the obituary collum due to his wife dying.
Guy on phone says, “we have several packages, the top one being 40 words for £20 Sir”.

“Too dear” says the man, “i have very little money”

“Well, our most basic package is 3 words for a fiver” comes the reply.

“ok, i will have to take that, although there was so much more i needed to say” says the man now crying down the phone line.

“what would you like to say Sir?”

“Susan is dead” says the man, now sobbing even more…

“Actually Sir, i do feel for you in these troubled times and as a gesture of good will i will give you another 3 words for free” says the guy on the phone.

The guys voice picks up a little…“thank you so much, you will never know how much this means to me!!!” says the man

“Now, what would you like to say Sir?”

“Susan is dead”
“Fiesta for sale” says the man… :smiley:

2

No offence intended to any blonde readers - just copy and pasting it…

A blonde goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says, “Sex Frogs! Only $20 each! Comes with complete instructions.”

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody is watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, “I’ll take one.”

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, “Just follow the instructions!”

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:

  1. Take a shower.
  2. Splash on some nice perfume.
  3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
  4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog; and, to her surprise, nothing
happens!

The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, “If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.”

So, she calls the pet store. The man says, “I’ll be right over.”

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, “See, I’ve done everything according to the instructions. The frog just sits there.”

The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes, and sternly says: “Listen to me! I’m only going to show you how to do this one more time!”

3

HA HA.

Now where did you say they sell those frogs ??? :Whistling:

4

Sorry but that joke is fundamentally flawed… it requires the blonde being able to read! :w00t:

5

Aah but she werent from Essex so she could read a bit betterer… innit !! :wink: