Phyllis Diller (RIP) one liners...

I do dinner in three waves: Serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead.

I’m so ugly a peeping tom threw up on my window sill.

You know you’re old when someone compliments you on your alligator shoes, and you’re barefoot.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Sad to hear she had passed away.

Like you imply, the queen of the “one liners”. She could pack dozens into a few minute floor spot.

Milton Jones is about the only person I’ve seen since that could equal Phyllis Diller at her best.