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Est. 2004

Pan's thread of puns

No Sundays are for relaxing and coming together with friends. Now that social distance has been lifted they are also known as hugendays

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Be careful with all that hugging, you don’t want crushed nuts!

The worse thing from all that hugging would be getting a cold now the pubs are open. Last thing you want is to be the person doing a pissedachoo

You need to be careful, here’s some dodgy pubs out there. Sneeze at the wrong geezer & you could end up as Phish Food.

I yelled into my colander the other day and strained my voice

You can’t be cirrus?

It feels like you’re trying for a storm in a tea cup

Nah, I’m just having a cuppa whilst I wait to find out who Spurs are going to sell Hurry Kane to.

I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.

She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.

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You would think that a snail without a shell would move that much faster wouldn’t you…?

But it’s actually more sluggish

That’s almost as bad as the old Christmas cracker joke.

Why did the snail paint a giant S on the side of it’s shell?

So people could say, “look at that escargot”

The urge to sing"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always just a whim away…
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away.

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Did you know Mortal Kombat was actually based on an ancient Scandinavian church song?

It’s a Finnish hymn.

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Mario, Luigi, Peach met up for the first time in 5 years
It was a Wii Union!

I woke up this morning to find that overnight I’d changed into a cat. Don’t ask meow.

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That pun is so bad it’s going to be dogging you for years.

(I think we might have had this one before)

I was offered a job as the head of Old McDonald’s farm this week! … I would be the CIEIO

Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price and heavier than Alan Price.

I know this because I looked it up on a price-comparison website.

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