No Sundays are for relaxing and coming together with friends. Now that social distance has been lifted they are also known as hugendays
Be careful with all that hugging, you don’t want crushed nuts!
The worse thing from all that hugging would be getting a cold now the pubs are open. Last thing you want is to be the person doing a pissedachoo
You need to be careful, here’s some dodgy pubs out there. Sneeze at the wrong geezer & you could end up as Phish Food.
I yelled into my colander the other day and strained my voice
You can’t be cirrus?
It feels like you’re trying for a storm in a tea cup
Nah, I’m just having a cuppa whilst I wait to find out who Spurs are going to sell Hurry Kane to.
I asked my wife if I am the only one she has ever been with.
She said yes, all the others were nines and tens.
You would think that a snail without a shell would move that much faster wouldn’t you…?
But it’s actually more sluggish
That’s almost as bad as the old Christmas cracker joke.
Why did the snail paint a giant S on the side of it’s shell?
So people could say, “look at that escargot”
The urge to sing"The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is always just a whim away…
A whim away, a whim away, a whim away.
Did you know Mortal Kombat was actually based on an ancient Scandinavian church song?
It’s a Finnish hymn.
Mario, Luigi, Peach met up for the first time in 5 years
It was a Wii Union!
I woke up this morning to find that overnight I’d changed into a cat. Don’t ask meow.
That pun is so bad it’s going to be dogging you for years.
(I think we might have had this one before)
I was offered a job as the head of Old McDonald’s farm this week! … I would be the CIEIO
Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price and heavier than Alan Price.
I know this because I looked it up on a price-comparison website.