Pan's thread of puns

My wife stared at me in disbelief and cried, “You’re shirtless and covered in… oil?!” I chuckled proudly, “Well, you’re always saying…"

“…I never glisten!”

A native American Indian and his wife go into a restaurant and asked if they have a table for two. The waitress asked “Do you have a reservation?” and he replied “No, I have an apartment downtown”.

What do you call a magician they has lost his magic?

Ian

I have just released my own fragrance.
The people sitting next to me dont look like they appreciate it

What do you call a man with no legs and no arms?

Matt

What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
Doug.

What do you call a man without a shovel in his head?
Douglas.

Have we gone from Pans to bad jokes? :grinning:

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?

Cliff!!

What do you call a shaved hairy biker?
Kevin

*Cause the hairy bikers bake and Kevsta doesn’t have a beard

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I dont trust stairs,
they are always up to something

Trust is something you can only build step by step

I also heard @Panagiotis asked @Kevsta to bring some dough to the next BMM. Apparently he wanted to go Deep Pan

This all sounds a little cheesy to me…

I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs…

It’s not a beautiful poem - but it’s deep.

This thread is getting thin and crusty.

Someone keeps dumping soil on my allotment.

The plot thickens.

What do you call someone who eats other people slowly?

A Cannibble.

I find stairs usually get me down

A jumper I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the shop.

They gave me another one free of charge.

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I was in Selfridges the other day & saw a bloke standing at the bottom of the escalator weeping. I went across and asked him if he was OK? “I’m fine” he replied, “It’s just that I find this staircase so moving”…

Yorkshire proofreaders.

Fighting the war on t’error.

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