A woman goes into a bar and asks for a double entendre… So the barman gives her one
My mate’s allergic to rice… He’s basmatic
did you hear about the scare crow that got an award for being outstanding in his field.
:laugh:
Did you hear about the Police Station toilet being stolen…Cops have nothing to go on…
i went down the paper shop the other day, and it had blown away.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
My mate told me had bubonic plague… I said, ‘don’t give me that.’
Last night I asked the barmaid for some helicopter flavour crisps…but she only had plane 
I used to be a lifeguard, but some blue kid got me fired
Did you hear the one about the big empty barn. There was nothing in it…
“Theres nothing wrong with defeat…” nelson mandela’s chiropodist
Bloke ate 2 tins of curry powder, spent a week in a korma.
Woman crossed a chicken with a jar of peanut butter, got a **** that stuck to the roof of her mouth.
definition of cuticle… a rather nice testicle
What’s the purpose of pubic hair? It’s a garnish
…two peanuts walking down a street - one was a salted.
definition of aerospace… room for more chocolate
Why don’t aliens eat clowns…Because they taste funny.
Why do men want to marry virgins? …They can’t stand criticism