One last scooter rant...

Tonight Park Lane.
The Culprit - Scooter Boy 5000 wearing trackie bottoms, trainers and a hoodie
Why was he an idiot that is helping perpetuate a healthy dispespect for the Scooter-bound. Well the light went green and as I was taking all of 1/5th of a second to engage first, he was beeping the horn…like really impatiently.

Matt is riding a CBF600, I am on a ZX 9R… at the very next traffic light we were all sat there again in a row…

Why did he beep?



Probably couldn’t wait to get home to see if his giro’s arrived so he can buy his bird some Elizabeth Duke bling! - chav scum!

I’ve never seen a scooter actually being ridden here in Kansas…I imagine you’d get hurt/killed/laughed off the road in fairly short order if you made the attempt.


BTW, why didn’t you anticipate the lights (hint, watch the pedestrian Green Man) and engage gear as they changed? I’m an auto rider, and I do occasionally get pee’d off by ‘proper bikes’ who think they should be in front but can’t get ‘take off’ expeditiously.

Just joshing, you understand…

Sat there in a row at the next set of lights, why dident you ask him?

It must be you toby coz i never have any hassle woth scoots

Maybe he was self censoring his profanities?

Good point!

Tobi was still suffering ‘new bike syndrome’ I imagine, and sitting looking at either a shop window or girls watching him astride his mighty ride. Hehe

Ahhhh the voice of experience…


Should have bought a Ducati


Anyway I do that meself ,occasionally sit in neutral - drift off - lights go green an clonk stick it in first,

Got a BMW driver once who took exception to that - despite the fact that a minute later I was half a mile in front of him.

No we anticipated sitting at the lights so we could ask him what he was playing at…he was very miffed that we didn’t understand that he was in a rush…

When we pointed out that he hadn’t got any further forward and had in fact put himself at risk by antagonising other road users (he had no idea how tolerant or insanely psychotic we were). The fact that he hadn’t made any particular progress just meant he looked stupid…

Its the person not the vehicle I know, but there is a strong correlation between “TOTAL KNOB” and BMW Driver and that’s proven, . I’m currently working ont he follow up theory, SCOOTER RIDER = TIT

I’m tempted to play the “What I didn’t hear you” game where you block his progress biut look like you are being considerate in asking what he’s talking about … playing it dumb - and holding him up even more - all because he tooted you in the first place.

It makes them MAAADDD I can tell you … and finally you can fall about laughing - which makes them MAAADDDDER!

the latest thing where we live is young lads picking there mates up from school L plates two up no lids and racing around the streets…real clever !

Ahhhh so here’s the truth of the matter… me and Toby sitting at the front of the lights - park lane nice and wide - scoot pulls up behind us - lights go amber - he toots - tit. We pull off he screeches behind us and drops anchor at the lights next to us.



You are all wrong, if you look in the chav hi wave code, bibbing your horn is used to let a girl know she’s fit, to alert other chavs of your prescence (albeit they can’t spell that word), to suggest that you are in awe of the body kit on a nova, or in tobys case to display jealousy /envy of some one elses fine ride.

grrrr I knew something was wrong… I’m a chav! I can’t spell presence.



The scoot was probably stolen

I think he was bibbing at Matt’s fine form…from behind…Matt’s a real looker, especially in the chav set!