I was round a friends house today, they just had a new born baby. I was holding the lil fecker… they asked if I wanted to wind her??? I thought that’s a bit feckin harsh innit?, so i just gave her a dead leg instead…
boom boom… hehe 
Rofl :0
:blink:
Lol 
Luv it!!! :w00t:
:D:D
Superb. Needed that chuckle on a Friday afternoon!
:w00t: - Quality…
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.‘Hurry,’ she said, ‘stand in the corner.’
She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.'Don’t move until I tell you,'she said, ‘pretend you’re a statue.’ ‘What’s this?’ the husband inquired as he entered the room. ‘Oh it’s a statue,’ she replied,'the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.'No more was said,not even when they went to bed.
Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer. ‘Here,’ he said to the statue, have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.’
A man walked into a cafe,went to the bar and ordered a beer.‘Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.’‘One Cent?’ the man exclaimed.
He glanced at the menu and asked:‘How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?’ ‘A nickel,’ the barman replied. ‘A nickel?’ exclaimed the man.
'Where’s the guy who owns this place?'The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.'The man asked: 'What’s he doing upstairs
with your wife?'The bartender replied: ‘The same thing I’m doing
to his business down here.’
“Dead leg” very 70’s. Still have the bruises & proud of it.
lol like it