As soon as the currency changeover is complete the phrase “spending a penny” will be replaced by “Euronating” . . .
A ‘chicken tarka’ curry is similar to a ‘chicken tikka’ only 'otter.
The other day I phoned my local pizza delivery firm and asked for a thin and crusty supreme… They sent me Diana Ross.
Men who have pierced body parts are better prepared for marriage.they have experienced pain and brought jewellery.
My grandfather always said fight fire with fire… which is why he got sacked from the fire brigade…
A bloke keeps ringing me and singing ‘Stand And Deliver’ down the line. I keep telling him he’s got the wrong number, but he’s Adam-ant.
They say “no man is an island”, but then what about the Isle of Man?
If you are unemployed, just go to the city of Jeopardy because there are always jobs in Jeopardy.
Bacon rashers make ideal skin grafts for pigs when they scratch themselves.
Last night I dreamt I had written ‘Lord Of The Rings’. This morning I realised I’d just been Tolkein in my sleep.
Hairdressers always ask you where you’re going on holiday; why don’t travel agents ask you where you have your hair done?
If you spread out all the sand in North Africa it would completely cover the Sahara Desert
Last month I bought some HP sauce. I only have 11 more payment to make.
A girl walked into a ****tail bar and asked for a double entendre so the Barman gave her one.
