The guy arrives home very dunk, I mean really drunk!

The wife comes in his direction and say:

-You F****R I will tell you what your problem is… he stops her and say:

-Ok, first I will tell you what’s your problem is!

-Go on then!

-You are a fat ugly bitch!!

-Oh! And you are a drunk… He stops her again and say:

-Yes! I’m drunk now but at least tomorrow morning my problem is gone and yours?

Ahhhh mate, that was originally said by Churchill and went a bit like this.

Wife of prominent politician to Winston Churchill (with distain in her voice): Mr. Churchill, you are drunk!
Mr. Churchill: Yes, madam, and you are ugly. But in the morning, I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.

Another of his great retorts was:

Lady Astor: Winston: If I were married to you, I’d put poison in your coffee.
Sir Winston Churchill: Nancy, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.