Island

A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life; that is, until the ship sank.

He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing,
> > only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the
> > beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the
> > shore.
> >
> > In disbelief, he asks, ‘Where did you come from? How did you get here?’
> >
> > She replies, ‘I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here
> > when my cruise ship sank.’
> >
> >
> > ‘Amazing,’ he notes. ‘You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up
> > with you.’ ‘Oh, this thing?’ explains the woman. ‘I made the boat out of
> > raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree
> > branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern
> > came from a Eucalyptus tree.’
> >
> >
> > ‘But, where did you get the tools?’
> >
> >
> > ‘Oh, that was no problem,’ replied the woman. ‘On the south side of the
> > island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I
> > fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron.
> > I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.’
> >
> >
> > The guy is stunned.
> >
> >
> > ‘Let’s row over to my place,’ she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she
> > docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls
> > off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow
> > painted in blue and white.
> >
> > While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the
> > man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she
> > says casually, ‘It’s not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would
> > you
> > like a drink?’
> >
> >
> > ‘No! No thank you,’ he blurts out, still dazed.
> >
> >
> > ‘I can’t take another drop of coconut juice.’ ‘It’s not coconut juice,’
> > winks the woman. ‘I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?’
> >
> > Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down
> > on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman
> > announces, ‘I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you
> > like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom
> > cabinet.’
> >
> > No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in
> > the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed
> > to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel
> > mechanism.
> >
> > ‘This woman is amazing,’ he muses. ‘What next?’
> >
> >
> > When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically
> > positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit
> > down next to her.
> >
> > ‘Tell me,’ she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, ‘We’ve been
> > out here for many months. You’ve been lonely. There’s something I’m sure
> > you really feel like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for?’
> > She stares into his eyes …
> >
> >
> > He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes…
> >
> >
> > ‘F*****g hell, don’t tell me you’ve got Sky Sports?’

:w00t: Still cant beat the old ones!