I propose we make biking a religion...

Off-topic
1

This would give us all sorts of social benefits:

People would have to recognise our right to practise biking

We wouldn’t have to take our helmets off in petrol stations or shops

We could declare “race days” national holidays (and the TT would become an entire week off :slight_smile:

(Edit) In fact… you can all worship me if you like…I’ll do one of them US tellyvangelist things where you all send me loads of dosh and I rant and froth at BMM every week. I’ll need bodyguards and a group of able bodied assistants to help me “wind down” after each performance… preferably of the young nubile and willing persuasion (no Westie, NOT you … :slight_smile:

2

The hurdle you have to get over is that to qualify as a religion or belief under UK or European law there has to be a clear structure and belief system to which adherents comply. I doubt that riding a bike would be more a “structure and belief system” any more than driving a car. However, whilst I wouldn’t want race days off as motorsport bores the pants off me, I would like to be able to take off any day with good dry weather as a holy day granted to us by the supreme motorcyclist for the practice of our religion. :wink:

3

**Ok…so who’s our god???
**

4

I believe in my bike, I ritually sacrifice the tips of my fingers on cold days, thousands of pounds to the herectic blasphemer “the Guvernmeant” to keep my icon alive and working in fuel tax. I ritually dress up in order to worship, I congregate round “the bacon butty van” and regularly and sup “the tea of life”.

Its a ritual and a religion just like worshippin beardy dudes on clouds that like to kill their own children, or mysterious blokes who make women hide themselves, or fat guys who’re really jolly (and no I don’t mean Santa) or paranoid people who’ve been persecuted so often they’re now walling themselves into a small bit of desert.

My religion is good and my religion is the light and you shall bow before my religion, or I’ll get right narky with you… :slight_smile:

5

hahaha we should see if we could push this through, it would be very funny, we need not have one god we could have several.

God of power - Hyabusa

God Of Good Looks - Black fireblade (of course)

God of Noise - Ducati

God Of thunder - Blue/white R1

God of Chav - Gixxer

L platers could be our deciples, this would be great!!! And i get to make my mates things im a really nice guy by going to church sunday mornings(the ace), and hanging out with my fellow worshipers on the country lanes!!!

Excellent - where do i sign???/

6

Ace Cafe will be our local church I suppose! :D:D

7

Excuse me no harleys allowed in this religion…they have their own;)
Think you should scratch god of noise cos thats ducati :stuck_out_tongue:

8

a fair point wasp, edited out of respect!!

9

You don’t have to have a god to be covered by the law on religion and belief. Buddhists don’t have a god or supreme being for example. Aethiests are covered by the definition as they have an agreed belief system that all those who agree with comply with, even if it is a belief system based on there not being a system of belief.

10

what?? can’t hear you wasp…make some noise! :D:D:P

11

I already worship at the alter of the God of power :smiley:

12

so what position would a mechanic hold?

13

dunno, but it would be senior!!

14

Bishop is an appropriate rank. Who would be the biking equivalent of the Pope? Perhaps the winner of the Senior TT?

15

We need to think of some biking commandments too. :smiley:

16

Finally, a religion that makes sense! :smiley:

17

Hallelujia!

18

+1:D:D:D

19

I am not sure Toby actually knows where BMM is to perform his weekly rant and froth:)

Surely the God of Power is now the mighty S1000RR:D

A mechanic must be an Angel of sorts.

There is only one God, he is Italian and rides like the wind, otherwise known as the GOAT;)

Make it so my children:P

20

My children, smote this blasphemer I see before me!
And give me three hail throttles and 2 rolling stoppies!

Hav-ya-fuel-ya brothers and sisters!

And lo, the crowd did show ye great uncertainty but enthusiasm and all was a bit confusing until ye master of the great Kwakker and leader of the light, Toby-Wan strode forth clutching 2 welded lumps of metal with scratchings on them (which he’d just done up in his shed using a screwdriver and a lump hammer)

“BeHOLD!”, he cried, "you wanted commandments and his greatness MohTaSickle provided them unto me (remember that when you try and oust me from this paramount position as the founder of the great religion of Bikes, he said deviously):

  1. Ye shall NOT waste a sunny Sunday afternoon in front of the telly
  2. Ye shall endeavour to spread the gospel of 2 wheels without prejudice nor bias towards thine own make or model
  3. Rainy weather is not an acceptable excuse to not ride (ye puny fair weather nancy’s)
  4. Ye shall always help another rider in distress
  5. Ye shall endeavour to share teas, butties and beer with other fellow worshippers as often as possible.
  6. Ye shall strive to learn something new about your 2 wheeled device everyday.
  7. Ye shall contribute greatly to the coffers of old Toby Wan Kenobi and ply him with beer loose women and drugs when 'er it looks like he is running low… cash is a good alternative, if none of the above are available.
  8. Ye shall post videos and pictures of your biking endeavours where 'ere possible on forum known as LB

and the rest is a bit illegible… so there you have it… And lo Biking-ism was born!